Hi B,
How are you today? I think you need to laugh... are you ready I'm about to share with you a joke I heard last week....
What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? ... Outlaws are wanted!!
A school principal came home after applying for his old age pension and started complaining to his wife. He explained that after filling out all the necessary paperwork, he was interviewed and it was only after the interviewer took a look at his few grey chest hairs that she decided that he was eligible for old age pension. His wife responded, "Honey you should have dropped your pants cause you would also be eligible for disability!"
I hope these made you laugh.... I can forward you some more....
In all seriousness be yourself. You have more strength than you can possibly ever need. Do you not love? Of course you do and that means that God is living within you.... remember GOD IS LOVE. He loves you and He wants to accept all his Love. You can think of many things about yourself that you are not proud of, yet you cannot think of one that would stop God from loving you.
Trust God and trust your marriage to God. Let him take care of it for you. You are carrying burdens that God never intended for you to carry, so let go. Please go on the internet and search for Psalms 23 "The Lord is my Sheppard" and read it every day. Read it whenever you get scared and remember that there is nothing that God can't handle.
As for your husband, take a hold of yourself. Your husband can't take away the strength that you possess (and I know that he doesn't want to). Remember that you teach people how to treat you. Be loving, be compassionate, be sweet and be strong. There is no one on this earth that can take you away from yourself.
Stop fighting and start loving... YOURSELF! You married your husband because he is the man that you have been seeking for. He is the man that you having been loving way before you met him.... he is your soulmate. Love yourself and take care of yourself by treating your husband that way you trully want to treat him. For one day, ignore all your problems and just love him. Plan a picnic in the park, a walk and write him a love letter. Share with him why you fell in love with him in the first place. Don't