Crystal Awesome, awesome advice!!!!!

Debbi No worries, you are just emotionally exhausted. You have been running on adrenalin, anxiety, threats, fears, and feeling bad about what you think are your failures. Number one you are not a failure either as a mom or a person. You are having a perfectly normal reaction to all the stress, hurt and pain in your life. Being afraid to wake up the next day, I KNOW how that feels. The dread of trying to live thru another day of anxiety, tears, tension, fears, its like you are overwhelmed. Well girl you are overwhelmed, you have to concentrate on making yourself feel better. I know right now this seems impossible, so many issues pressing in on you and you feel like you cannot cope with one more thing! Take just five minutes when you wake up to center your mind and harmonize your emotions, just sit quietly and breathe, think of nothing but following your breath. Notice your chest rising and falling, notice the air in and out of your nose or mouth, and everytime your thoughts wander, gently bring them back to the breath. Then begin the day and know that within you is the power to be calm and unafraid of the things to come. Dont think about tomorrow or the next day but live in the moment. Keep your mind occupied with tasks around the house and with your child. Whenever you begin to feel anxious relax towards that feeling, know what it is, you have had it before and it has never killed you. It is uncomfortable, yes, but it is just a feeling, do not fear it and it will pass. If the panic monster is lurking there also, relax your body, just go limp in a chair and tell the panic to come, tell it to come and do its worst. Even if you can manage this for a minute or 2 you will begin to know that you will be okay and it will all pass. Fearing the symptoms is what keeps the anxiety and panic alive. Thoughts generate the symptoms, so change your thoughts whenever you notice that you are worrying that another panic attack might happen, snap it off like a light switch. It might not happen right away, but try this everyday and soon it will get easier. Learn to let it go. Take care of the now and present. Know that healing takes time. You are very tired, oversensitized and fatigued. Dont push yourself too hard and dont get into the negative talk.

Debbi, first, you HAVE TO go to your gyn appt. I have a therapy appointment and errands to run today and I am dreading it. But I am going to power through it and so will you. I think that going to a doctors office is the safest place for you. I f you panic or anything there they can help you. All doctors understand panic disorders and anxiety pretty well. The doctor may even have some tips for you, like a new plan you have not thought of. I would not worry about your son. You know how forgetful kids are. Plus, in a few years you will be able to explain all of this to him and he will understand. I chickened out of going to easter yesterday. I really felt like a failure but I realized I am not a failure. Just a victim of this awful thing!!! Feel good today, give the doc a call maybe.

YOUR HUSBAND IS EVIL FOR NOT SUPPORTING YOU AND BEING A JERK!MEYBE IF HE SUPPORTED YOU .YOU WOULD NOT FEEL SO BAD!YOU SON LOVES YOU UNCONDTIONALLY .YOU HAVE THAT MOTHER SON BOND.I BET YOU WHEN HE IS 10 AND YOU DONT FEEL GOOD HE WOULD TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.PLEASE DONT THINK IT YOUR FAULT ITS THIS STUPID STRESS AND I AM SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS HALF THE PROBLEM.I ALSO HAD A ROUGH DY AND CRIED IN THE MORNING FOR 2 HOURS AND MY DAUGHTER STILL HAD A GREAT EASTER.PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU GO TO THE GYN. CAB,BUS,PLANE,I WOULD DRIVE YOU BUT I LIVE TO FOR AWAY!BUT IF YOU NEED ME I AM HERE! HUGGSSSSSSSSS! YOUR FRIEND GINA

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. It sounds like your husband needs a swift kick in the booty! Want me to prank call him for you??!!?? Some days, i just get so tired of it all, I am so disgusted and so depressed I can not imagine another day of living like this but I know for my children and because I refuse to give up, I just press on. I know for me having a part time job is a wonderful thing. If it were not for that I could easily get house bound. My job gives me a satisfaction and helps me to keep my head straight. Please put your husband to the side right now and concentrate on you and your health. Meaning, go to your doctor appointment, call your doctor in the morning or your therapist and tell them you really need an appointment to discuss your feelings. Praying for peace and comfort, Khris (Grace)

Crystal I will write you tomm, I think I have had some sort of breakdown today, I had to go to bed and I have shook and cried all day, my husband says I am evil for ruining Easter for my son, and I feel he is right, what kind of Mother am I? I could not even contain my panic and fear of cancer for one day. The thought of waking up tomm and knowing I am going to feel like this fills me with dread. I am going to take my Klonopin and go to bed, I cannot bear to be awake any longer thinking I hurt my son. I pray everyone else had a better more decent Easter than me. I am so disgusted with myself, I am pathetic. I am very depressed I do not want to bring anyone on this site down. I hope you are all well tonight and every night. Debbie.