Hi Grace, I am a little better a little calmer, thank you. You mentioned you went to church, I have a feeling you prayed for me did you? I feel alot of people are praying for me. I took a walk with my son and tried to push the negative thoughts out of my mind. I cannot believe I was going to call the paramedics, I am very disapointed in this new Doctor but am trying to get over it. Noone ever told me about perimenopause and I don't know what to expect, since I could not get into the DOc's today Grace I called Birthline for a free preg test, they said they would do it but they said after 10 days morning urine or not it would of shown up ectopic or not, just what you said, I guess I have to accept the fact I am not pregnant {which does relieve me} and go on, I am still cramping but not as severe and the headache and nausea is better. I get so scared sometimes because of how bad I feel I am dying, and the thing that scares me about that is I won't be here to take care of my son, that is the frightning thing to me. My husband is having headaches and tightness in his chest, I am sure its because of me and I feel so guilty. I hate Emergency rooms but I promise Grace if I ever feel that bad again I will go. I may have to do some research on pre-menopause, I am ignorant I know nothing. I hope I do not gush and bleed bad when it fianlly comes, does that happen? Again I am trying to push the scary thoughts out of my mind, Easter is coming and I want to make it good for my son, I go to the "groto" and pray, its outside and so peaceful, I have asked God to rid me of this fear and let me please enjoy life again, I fear its effecting my husbands health and my son's perception, and I feel so remorseful and guilty about that. I guess you can cramp without bleeding so I am trying to "ignore" it and not fixate on it so much. You have been wonderful to me Grace, Thank you, Please write back when you can. Much Thanks, Debbie.
