Thanks for the kind words, CD. I think it's just a post-modern febrility that battles against the aporia of existentialism. Or the next step in that long slide into curmudgeonliness....
Patrick
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 1/18/2008 Smoke-Free Days: 189 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,725 Amount Saved: $2,126.25 Life Gained: Days: 35 Hrs: 3 Mins: 16 Seconds: 35
For me, quitting smoking was like opening my eyes for the first time since I was a teenager. I did not enjoy the quit process (who does), but it is worth every step. The "song" for my quit was "I want to break free...."
CybrDuke - you have a very good mindset - think how you can keep this going - through songs, through self talk, remind yourself how you have been controlled and use that anger to propel you forward.
And none of us need to be ashamed of what we used to do - we have all been there. I was embarassed whilst I was still smoking....and still I couldn't stop.
Lizzie
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 4/23/2003 Smoke-Free Days: 1920 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 28,800 Amount Saved: �7,200.00 Life Gained: Days: 197 Hrs: 12 Mins: 3 Seconds: 3
I think I would have enjoyed having you as a teacher. I guess through SSC, in a way, I do. You seem wise and I do enjoy reading your posts. It's good to know you're watching, and good to know your quit is solid.
KEEP THE QUIT!
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 7/6/2008 Smoke-Free Days: 18 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 540 Amount Saved: $124.20 Life Gained: Days: 3 Hrs: 1 Mins: 53 Seconds: 34
I think we've all done similar bad things to maintain our addictions to nicotine. It is really only realized in full when we have spent some time as non-smokers and are genuinely revolted by the sights and sounds of the filthy tobacco that we lived with for so many decades... I'm still feeling the wonder at how idiotic I've been and I am using that sense-memory to shore up my quit even further. I want a steel wall between me and my destructive older-Self!! Never too late! Memories like having a cigarette in my mouth while I picked up and held my God-daughter's head "away" from the streaming smoke!! Like feeding my son with one hand while I smoked a cigarette in the other - blowing the smoke "away" from his face.....
Kelly, we've all done weird s**t as smokers - that's done with now, isn't it?? Take note and then let it go....
Patrick
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 1/18/2008 Smoke-Free Days: 188 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,700 Amount Saved: $2,115.00 Life Gained: Days: 34 Hrs: 23 Mins: 29 Seconds: 14
If you smoked, then you sure enough did things like I saw the other day to support the habit.
The important thing to do is to remember... Don't forget how the addiction controlled you and don't forget how it influenced your decisions. I myself am guilty of getting up and leaving my beautiful wife at the table in a restaurant because I couldn't wait another 30 mins for a smoke. It's something I did, I'm not proud of it, and I won't forget it.
When my mind rationalizes, and old nic says "just one won't hurt" I recall these types of images to my mind. It helps me get my perspective back. One really WILL hurt, because I'm an addict. I cannot have one.
I think this is part of why I can be around people who still do smoke and it does not make me crazy. I see myself in them and I don't want to be controlled like that again. I draw strength from the situation instead of it making me feel weak.
It's a good thing we are doing here. Yes I smoked, yes I did stupid things, I forgive myself. The important thing is I am here and I am smoke free.
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 7/6/2008 Smoke-Free Days: 18 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 540 Amount Saved: $124.20 Life Gained: Days: 3 Hrs: 1 Mins: 15 Seconds: 28
I can remember how bad those little glass rooms smelled as i sat there smoking in panic of when i would get to smoke again :( yuck !! That tresa dont hang around me anymore :) My Milage:
My Quit Date: 8/8/2002 Smoke-Free Days: 2177 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 52,248 Amount Saved: $9,143.40 Life Gained: Days: 311 Hrs: 4 Mins: 46 Seconds: 55
