I am a single female, 30 years of age, no childre, 3 cats. I work full time. I have been dating someone for a year now. First "real" relationship I have ever had. I had my first Panic Attack in Jan 99. I have NEVER in my life experienced anything like it. And of course you will never have an attack like your first, but you will have nightmares (so to speak) about it the rest of your life. I am so very grateful to have found this website! I did EXTENSIVE research on P/A/A when in 99. I refused to go on meds because I KNEW I could beat this. I was placed on Paxil in 99, then Zoloft in 01,02. I weaned myself off of it all because I didn't think i needed it. I read all the self help books I could get. I joined support groups online. Looking back, I did a great job confronting the enemy then. But here I am six years later, with such increased Agoraphobia I am scared to death. I am to the point where I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE MY HOUSE. Going to the movie store is an issue for me. What is wrong with me? I went back on Paxil CR almost one week ago and was placed on Xanax by a new doctor this week. I am trying so hard to fight this but I am dying inside. I am SO tired of feeling like a freak! My boyfriend is very patient and understanding but I can tell it is waning. I am going to try to go to church tomorrow, on my own for the first time in many years. I feel that I have NO faith at all in God or myself. I am truly rattling on so please forgive me. I hope I meet many friends on here that can help me through these trying times. My mom lives far away & I am very co-dependent on her and I feel VERY alone. Someone? Anyone? Thanks & Much Love-Jennifer
