Hi Casey,
Thank you for your welcome and thank you so much for your information.
I have taken many of those depression tests over the years. I already know I suffer from it. Was the doctor who recognized it first when I went to him back when the now teens were little. And I have been on medication ever since. Seems I cannot ween myself from it or the symptoms return. I've been diagnosed as having a chemical inbalance.
The first time it cropped up was when I hit a valley in my life when my oldest one was also little. I was divorced at that time. I refused to take medication and fought my way back into the world. Things were fine for years. It came back with a venegance when I realized I felt trapped with two more children and a husband who never wanted to go anywhere, or support my wanting to go out with the kids and do things. Has been this way all their lives.
So, thanks Casey, I know I suffer from depression. And I know that going to the grocery store or to run errands or to my job is not "getting out of the house". My husband laughs when he refers to this.
It would just help if my husband would accompany me on ANY trip out of the house. He will, on rare occasion, go with me to the store. He hunts and fishes and his idea of getting out of the house and doing something together is to go hunting or fishing with him, which I have done, for it's better than nothing. Like I said, we can try and get him to go somewhere, like this weekend that he company sends them away every year once a year. So it's a one time a year opportunity and we, as his family pay for it.
We had to wait for him on Friday night to go through his ritual in the bathroom as always. (he can sit there for a couple of hours and all of a sudden needs to use the bathroom when we announce it's time to go, we're ready) I had to drive all weekend, cause he didn't feel good. The kids and I went out and did things alone, as always. He laid around in the hotel room all weekend. He does this anytime we have made plans to go anywhere. It's like he gets himself worked up so much, he's phyically ill. However, he refuses to see the pattern.
I feel like I cannot take it anymore. His kids need to see a complete turn around. They need each other and not this gian