I am new to these boards, have been agrophobic for about 4 years now. My spouse deserted me a month ago so I am alone.
Anyway I made a goal to walk to the corner of my street. Been doing that, so I moved the walk to the next pole before the end of the street, yes I had some PAs but I managed to push thru the fear and just keep walking and made myself stay out longer just so I would fear it less the next day. Fine it worked ok.
I made plans last night to go over to my brothers shop to spend a few hours, just to get out of the house and be with someone I knew, a break from the heartache, pain etc. Well the time came to go and I was frozen with fear!
I go to CBT therapy, no meds wont take them. I got books, tapes, all the tools. You would figure by now I would have gone into auto pilot and faced the fear, but no i failed.
I am so disgusted, disappointed, hopeless, all the adjectives for failure apply here.
I want so much to have my life back and cant understand why I cant manage it!
Sorry to dump I just am so lost in this now, depressed.
