Hey everyone,
Sorry for the length.
I was diagnosed with depression in November, although I very rarely feel/felt classically depressed. I'm currently taking Zoloft for depression, but its the anxiety that is far and away my biggest problem. I have not been diagnosed with panic disorder (or GAD for that matter), but I believe what I have could only be described as GAD. I am also (self diagnosed) obsessive compulsive (although it seems I hardly have compulsions... more just obsessive thoughts). Some of the posts I read on this site are like reading my mind (thinking you're going crazy, worried about heart, etc), and it certainly is nice to know that I'm not alone.
The short version of my story is that a few months ago, I became obsessed with my heart, and after a panic attack and a visit to the ER, the concern broadened to my physical health in general.
My physical health concerns lasted for a while, but I was able to convince myself that (after two more hospital visits) I was healthy... physically. My concerns for the last month or so have switched over to my mental health - like many of you, I truly believe at times that I'm going crazy. I cannot express how much the thought scares me, but I don't think I have to - some of you know where I'm coming from.
It seems like no matter what, I can't seem to get this anxiety off of my mind. It's like there is always something lingering in my head that won't let me forget. About a week ago, I was feeling considerably better. Anxiety seemes to be replaced with a more sane version of being worried about going crazy (which, looking at it now, sounds like a natural progression).
That is, until this past weekend, when I drank huge quantities of alcohol, and got considerably more drunk than I had planned. The past three days, my anxiety is at much greater levels than it was last week - alcohol seems to have quite a negative impact on me. In fact, alcohol may have induced my anxiety in the first place... no more drinking for me.
Onto my question: Right now I am experiencing dramatic ups and downs. Sometimes I feel as though there is no way I'm not crazy, and become extremely anxious about extremely stupid things (like thinking about my head exploding, or things that I know rationally cannot happen). Then