Hi Mei,
I can definately relate to what you are saying. If I feel nauseous I get really nervous and irritable I hate throwing up and also try to avoid it as much as possible. I get nervous eating some foods in case they make me sick so I just avoid them.
I understand what you are saying about the meds, I was exactly the same. I wanted to be able to do it all on my own and not rely on the medication. I found that to try to move forward I needed a bit of help so I went on meds and I'll stay on them till I get to such a place where I can start to come off them. I have a fear of swallowing pills and worry about the side effects, I was very nervous starting them so I went and stayed at my parents house for the first week while I was getting on them so that there were people around all day in case I had side effects. I found having people around calmed me down a bit. As I have said many times here, I started off on a very small dose and increased gradually and that cut out the majority of the side effects. I found that I was only a little queasy starting my meds but I just kept telling myself that it was just the meds and it would pass and I didn't throw up, didn't even come close. If you're already queasy all day then what would the difference be, it might mean that you are just queasy for another week or so and then it will stop because you might become calmer which would be great.
I can't advise you on Lexapro because I'm not on it, the meds in NZ have totally different names so I'm not really sure what that one would be called here.
Anyway think I've babbled enough!! Just know you're not alone :)