You're not alone, jafloydci.
I always felt I was alone in this.
I see a therapist once a month, but I really do not have anyone else I can talk to about my anxiety/panic/depression. I will go weeks, months without an attack and then one sneaks up on you.
I have tried a CD by Dr. Emmett Miller.
My stepmother used to tell you that of all the horrible things that have entered your mind, none of it has happened. It's just anxiety.
She speaks the truth. It is true. It's also tough anxiety and she knows that, but she's being supportive.
We use our minds for so many things and the anxiety some of us feel is part of us, but as you noted, there are ways to deal with it. You just have to keep learning about it.
I had a lot of anxiety when I was 20 too. It was so cary and I had no idea what was going on.
It was not the first time for me, though, but it was the most serious. I am 38 now. I have mae it through all these years and I have succeeded at a lot where once I was so scared to try anything.
I have had the detatched feelings and the feelings of dread and fear. But it's all part of anxiety.
Anxiety, plain and simple, sucks. Excuse my language.
I really hope some of this is helping you. I speak from experience, some very unpleasant.
Since then, I have learned a lot about my problem and it sounds as if you are experiencing similar symptoms.
Personally, I suggest exercise and lot's of it.
I will go to the gym feeling like I am nearly emotionally exhausted, then I get my blood pumping and by the end of my workout I do not want to leave the gym. I want to go back and do the same workout again, only harder this time.
Cardio is great as are weights.
All I can really say from experience is that everyone's panic or axniet is different in some ways, but we all experience the fear and weird feelings.
But you know that when you are feeling good it really is special.
I find that when I am at my lowest, I remember to when I felt good and eventually the good feelings come back.
You've got friends, jafloydci.
Anyway, I have just rambled through another post and I hope I helped someone besides myself.
Venting really helps.
Best regards and keep posting,
David