Sorry to hear of your panic...vomiting blood sounds pretty bad. I would follow your doctor's advice on that one, it may actually help your son if you do. Maybe you should move further North; but anyway, wherever you go we have to face our fears...that is what this whole 12 step program is about. You are getting a perfect chance to do so now. Are you afraid of dieing? Losing everything? For your family? These are all understandable. Please pray for peace of mind. Whatever happens, you may become stronger when you have gone through it and come out the other side o.k. If the worst should occur, panicking now will not stop it from happening or help you to cope. Think about what is most meaningful in your life, and appreciate what you have now. Tomorrow all of us could loose everything. If we die, we will be at peace. "the dead are concious of nothing at all" Ecclesiastes 9:5. If someone we know should die, we have a marvelous hope..."there is going to be a ressurrection" Acts 24:15. I hope you will feel better and be able to ride out the storm, or do whatever you have to do...take care...
