Hiya Jessica,
I know exactly how you feel, i went through the same thing when my anxiety first kicked in, and even now i get panicky at night times and still have trouble sleeping.
I used to wake my mum up every night also, and like you thought "i'm gonna end up in a mental institution".. What you are experiencing is exactly the same as i have experienced - from the fear of dying to jerking awake in a panicked frenzy as i began to doze off.
You just have to be strong, and keep busy at night. If you cant sleep, then dont get upset or angry about it. Simply do something until u feel u can sleep. I started to read every night, and sure enough it helped me. I think it has something to do with having to exhaust your mind so you stop thinking about all the bad stuff, if that makes sense?
Just remember to tell yourself that you are not going to die, and try and talk yourself away from the stage of panic. It's as though we get ourselves into a routine.. "it's night time, i'm about to go to bed, i panic at night time".. it's almost as though we expect it to happen and so it does. I know thats what it was like for me. You have to break the cycle. You have to decide "ok enough is enough i'm not going to do this anymore".. I know it is hard, but you can get through it.. just remember to try things and techniques that will break the cycle.
One thing that helped me is realising and admitting to myself that there is nothing to panic about.
I hope you manage to get peaceful sleep soon.
Sarah xxx
