As I was rummaging through files in my computer the other day, I came across a treasure trove of posts that I thought I had deleted. Most are from friends who supported me when I was quitting, and it was so wonderful to read them again.....yes and cry over them again. To relive that pain and those precious moments was amazing!
Quitting is such an emotional, life-changing event for most people, that to find a site like this one with so many supportive people helping each other..........It helped to save my life and I hope it will help to save yours too. I had never quit for longer than 90 days, and around that point in my quit, thanks to all the help I received here, I was able to write the post below with a true conviction that I would never smoke again. So far, at 1000 days, I have not. I have gained 140 days of life, not smoked 35,000 cigarettes and saved myself 5,000 Euros.
Finally Farewell!
You made me feel that I was someone, that what I said mattered. I felt more important when I was with you. You gave me confidence. You kept me from making a fool of myself in public when I became emotional. You were always there for me if I was lonely. You comforted me when I was worried or stressed. I had you with me all the time, in the good times as well as the bad. I know 40 years is a long time to be together.
Now you have to leave. Go! You may have regrets about this, but I have none. You cannot remain in my life; there is no room for you. In this short time we have been apart, three months, I have become a different person.
I know that I am someone who matters. I have confidence and self-esteem in what I have achieved. I do not always need to hide my emotions in public. I have made new friends now, so I am not lonely. There is far less worry and stress without you than with you. The bad times will always be bad whether you are there or not. The good times are much better without you. I feel free of the control that you had over me.
I will not even say �Goodbye my friend.� You were no friend to me, I see that now.
You were a parasite. You were feeding from me not the other way around. You have done your damage, so go! Get away from me forever.
I am free!
It really is a grand day for me.
This freedom is so worth all the agony and pain of quitting. Did I (do I) want to smoke from time to time? Honestly? Yes, the thought does cross my mind at odd moments, I still catch a whiff of fresh smoke and remember happy times, but it�s like the scent of a particular thing, a flower or food perhaps, which triggers a fond memory..........what you feel is the pleasurable sensation from the memory of the event, not from the thing itself, or the pleasure of smoking. Once you make that distinction, you can laugh off any odd thoughts of smoking and get on with your fresh, free life.
Lately on this site there has been a great deal of angst about relapsing and what attitude one should have to this. No matter how many days you have been quit, a relapse must be upsetting, but I am of the opinion that CHOICE is the keyword here. I chose to quit, I chose to do whatever it took to remain quit. That included avoiding things which could trigger a relapse, and avoiding anything which seemed like a good excuse to begin again. Had I relapsed then I would have had only myself to blame and no excuses in the world would have helped me. I would have had to start over. Penitent put it well......�when the desire to smoke is stronger than the desire to quit the game is over.� People forgive relapses.....it could happen to anyone, if they choose to allow it to occur. Arguing the causes here on the boards or anywhere else is of no help. You set a new date, come back here and start again.
I congratulate all the people on this site with quits from one day to forever.....You are doing something so fantastic for yourself and the rewards are wonderful. Do stay positive and your quit will be so much easier.
NEVER LOOK BACK. THE FUTURE IS AHEAD!!!
Lolly. :)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]11/25/2004
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1000
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 35,000
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �5,000.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 142 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
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Quit Meter
$11,708.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 810
Hours: 12
Minutes: 43
Seconds: 21
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5854
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
117,080
Cigarettes Not Smoked
