I woke this morning feeling like a million bucks. No gloom clouds, no tired feelings, no anxiety. It felt great....so I wondered...what made this day any different from yesterday? (which was quite bad by the way) I am drawing closer and closer to the conclusion that this is truly a bio-chemical thing and that medication may well be the only way to control it.
I know thats not what we all want to hear. I know it isnt what I want to hear but what else can explain the intense swings like that? If I feel fine one day and I puke the next, I know I caught a bug or ate some bad tuna surprise at the cafeteria. I dont have physical swings like that for no physiological reason, why would I have mental swings out of the blue like that?
Some days I can concentrate (with no adverse reaction) on the exact same thought that the day before had me shivering under my covers. In fact I can often laugh at them. This just doesnt make any sense.
Is it food? Beverages? The moon phases? What the hell is it? How can you wake one morning ready to take on the world and then wake the next morning wanting to hide from the same world. Nothing in the world has changed. That made me think...
The next time I feel the pressure I will try to recall the last day I felt great and force myself to realize that there is no difference in the day or the world and so logically there should be no vast difference in my mood (sure there will be minor mood swings). I will wrestle with my mind until it succombs to the reality that I am creating this feeling myself for no real good reason.
I have a wonderful wife and kids and for me to spend even 5 minutes laying around steeping in misery when there is life to be lived sounds like a stupid thing to do....I am not a stupid person.
I will also closely examine my diet from the previous day when I feel good, perhaps there is a clue there. For instance, last night I had an ice cream sandwich before bedtime and a bacon and egg sandwich for dinner. If I have to eat bacon and egg sandwiches every night for dinner to feel great the next day...bring it on! :)
Sorry for rambling....have a great day and hope mine lasts for me!
Mike