Hi Simon,I share similarites to you. I was put on prozac, and had an allergic reaction to it, despite this, I had many side effects. I was kind of in this state of mania, where I wasn't sleeping. The most terrifying part of my panic is having feelings of derealization and obsessive thoughts about going crazy. A year ago I was having this very problem, and when I went home, it was almost as if I didn't even know my own mother, I mean cognitively I knew she was my mother, but My feeligns were out of wack. I feel very spaced out and as if things are not real most of the time. I guess this is a normal feeling with people who have panic disorder, but it is still very unsettling. You mentioned that you do not have money right now for a doctor ect. What I have found helpful is going to the library and finding books. It helps keep your mind busy, and the more you know about your condition, the easier it is to get through things.

I know how you feel. When I started noticing there's something wrong with me, those are the feelings I had. Constant, freaky feeling of unrealism and fear of contact with other humans. I went to bed worried to death I'm going absolutely crazy and will never be able to feel normal again. It was a chaotic phase of my life - involving drugs and stuff, but I got over it pretty much. I still get those feelings often, as you, in malls and such public places - but I've learned to ignore it more or less. I thought about suicide alot too. Holy **** am I happy I didn't do anything. You'll get over it too, it's just a matter of time. This message was edited by casey.duffy on 7-15-04 @ 11:27 AM

I'm not opposed at all with taking anti-depressants and i am not quite thinking of physically ending it, but the thoughts are there. I can't remember 2 of the meds i was taking. I know one of them made me extremely tired, but the third was Zoloft and it seemed to make me more on edge. Which seems to be the one that works more for the anxious feeling than depression? I am only depressed cause of this "out of it" feeling. If i got rid of that, or at least partly got rid of it, i know i would be extremely happy.

Hi Simon, I just wanted to say, you don't have to apologize for long posts. That is what this site is all about - sharing your experiences and feelings. What is concerning about your post is your reference to increasing thoughts of self destruction and being discouraged from previous experiences with medications. It sounds as if you did not have a good experience with your psychiatrist or medications in the past. Please do not let these issues deter you from seeking medical assistance now. Let your doctor know what you are going through, and about your hesitancy with medications and lack of help from your psychiatrist. They may be able to recommend something/someone new. You are not alone in your reported symptoms of feeling unsure and nervous in unexpected situations. Fellow members will be responding to your post soon. Be sure to keep us posted with how things are going. Hope to hear from you soon. Casey _____________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

Hi, The past couple of years i have had the feeling of not being quite "with it". Lately it has been getting worse to the point where i constantly feel like it. It used to be when i was at a shopping centre or something and i would seem to just click off and walk around in a daze feeling as though any second someone that i know or someone else will come up to me and talk and i wouldn't know what to say. This has happened a few times in the past where i have seen friends unexpectantly in a shopping centre and the first thing i want to do is run. When they ask me simple questions like "what have you been up to?" and i don't know what to say and get extremely nervous, which apparently shows. It doesn't matter who it is that i see, whether it be my parents or someone else i normally feel comfortable with, when i see them in an unexpected situation, it takes me by surprise. Anyways, i have felt like this for a couple of years and i have seen my GP, psychiatrist, chiropractor (never know, it might have helped), had CT scans done and a couple of other things, yet no one has found any physical problem at all. So that eliminated that. I have also been on 3 different types of anti-depressants and they made me worse. The psychiatrist didn't have a clue at what was wrong, to do with my symptoms and all. Lately it has just gotten so much worse as i feel like this constantly. It feels like i am on the edge of a breakdown. I can't do normal stuff like go to see my friends and i have been thinking about self-destruction lately a bit more. I know i should be on anti-depressants for that, but as they have made me worse with the real problem in the past, i don't see how it could be any more different. I am not working at the moment and haven't been for at least a year, so it also feels like my life is stuck and i have nowhere to go. My parents think it might have something to do with how i spent so much time in my room when i was younger. I'm 23, I don't take drugs and hardly drink. I have also stopped smoking about a month and a half ago so that might be adding to it. I know this is a long post with a lot of detail but i can't seem to find anyone else with the same exact problem. What i am sorta looking for is someone else that has had the extreme nervous feeling constantly