I tried slapping myself once in the heat of an attack. i suppose in some way to "snap myself out of it" I too have worked all my life with illness, mostly disabled kids, and the elderly. both of which can get mentally ill at times. I've seen some really upsetting things in my time, some things just reduce you to tears. Like the lad i used to care for, born with no arms or legs. He was just strapped to a bed, and will be till the day he dies. But you know what, i never knew a happier little lad. good and kind, and so sweet to others. i used to walk away from him in tears feeling soooo selfish because i was worried about money, or some other mudane thing, and there he was, trying to cheer everybody up.
I guess i do think of him, and others in a lot worst states than me, then at times i have a stupid attack and can get so angry with myself, i'm fit(ish) apart from this condition, i have my health, got my own hair at 43, but still i cower in a corner for ten minutes because of some stupid sensations i'm having. Can make you feel so weak and selfish sometimes.
I can see why this condition can make you angry, its like the invisible enemy invading your body, on the outside you just look ordinary, but on the inside you feel so ****py. Not many people understand it either, its not like you've broken your arm and people can see the injury. i guess thats why most of us feels so alone, if we arent lucky enough to have understanding loving partners who take the time to read about it and stuff. Quite a few times i've had said to me, "pull yourself together, your acting like a baby". So i guess under those kind of rules, may be its natural to give your self a slap in the hope it will pull you out of your hysteria.
Best wishes
Mudslinger uk
