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You have the strength. I've seen it. As you've told many, many, many, many, many people before, just "keep putting one foot in front of the other." And....
Breathe in... :gasp:
Breathe out... :8o:
Breathe in... :gasp:
Breathe out... :8o:
Breathe in... :gasp:
Breathe out... :8o:
Do you feel better yet? I hope so.
Crave the QUit!
Pam
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 646
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 16,167
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2667.98
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
:( I'm still here. I'm not good right now but I'm here. I can't do anything. How am I suppose to do this? Where is the strength to come from.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 632
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,653
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2212
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 57 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
[quote]
You see, at first I knew I wasn't good enough, and then I thought just maybe, but now I know.
[/quote]
Lady,
Don't blame yourself for this! Don't EVER think that you're not good enough. Even if this wasn't meant to be, that's OK... but it's not because you weren't good enough. This isn't your fault and getting down on yourself for it is only going to make you feel worse.
I understand your need for a mini pity party right now, but soon, please, let's get back to this thing called life and let the past remain there. Afterall, that's a good place for this situation... in the past. Learn from it. Grow from it. Then move on and let it go. You're a WONDERFUL person who has a lot to give. Please don't dwell on this situation and think "what if..." or "what could I have done?" You're a better person now for having been through this and will continue to rise above this situation to become an even better person. Just keep that faith of yours strong and you WILL survive!
Crave the Quit!
Pam
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 646
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 16,166
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2667.98
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1
That's the Lady we know & admire!
You can hang out as long as you like. We will always be here to support & see you through!
Keep close & keep us posted.
Danielle
_____________________
The SSC Support Team
Lady
Your post just about broke my heart. I know enough about this type of loss and grief to know that there is little I can say to make it right. However, I will point out that you have worked hard, harder and hardest to reach 20 months quit.
You say that you feel worthless, well I say that any one who can accomplish that amazing feat is anything BUT worthless. You are a strong, determined person who knows that no matter what happens in this life, no matter how severe our loss, no matter how deep our pain, SMOKING WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER. And in addition if you light up now after such a wonderful effort, you will feel terrible. Please don't do that.
I am sitting here with tears running down my face, because I can so relate to your situation. I too once believed with all my heart in someone and eventually found that my belief and love where misplaced.
Please try to get through this without smoking...I know that you know it will in the long run solve nothing and will cause you even more heatache...
Hold on, there will be an answer
nonic
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 90
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,174
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $630
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51
Oh Lady. I do feel for you. I am here starting over because I recently let anger, pressure and stress convince me to give up my quit. I hated every moment of that 2 weeks I was back smoking and yet I was in a place where I couldn't dedicate myself to nurturing myself to resume the quit. If you can spare yourself the pain and loathing of giving in to that nicodemon, you will feel so much better in a short time. Nurture yourself now - you are heart broken, so feel it - cry, scream, curl up in bed, watch a sad movie or watch a funny movie to heal thru laughter. Then you can move on.
I also have to say that way back in college after smoking for just a year or two I quit for almost a year. Then I gave it all up because of that same broken hearted thing. If I had known then, what I know now, I wouldn't have had almost 20 extra years of being a secret smoker. I'd have been a non-smoker all this time.
You can do it and we are here for support!
- Freemom
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/24/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 19
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4.08
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
((Lady))
You and I have discussed this, I have a feeling, AND you did not make it all up... that's just not the truth.
K - so this is a day to just BE, my friend... Make the room to just BE right now -and to take loving care of you.
We are all right here and not only are you OK you WILL BE OK...
Hold on tight right now... You have my email.
Love-
Healer
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 385
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,494
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1790.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 50 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29
Unfortunately, smoking will not help.
I do not believe the lies to have been totally intentional. I just cannot imagine in my wildest dreams that is the case and if it is, I don't want to know. I believe the best intentions were present and I just kind of fell short of the mark. You see, at first I knew I wasn't good enough, and then I thought just maybe, but now I know. Life is life. Some things are not meant to be. I know what one of those things that isn't meant for me is now and I won't ever doubt it again.
[quote]
... we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
[/quote]
I quit smoking and I fought hard for that quit. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Now I must move on. I use to wish for a quit I could survive. I have that now. I am not letting it go. However, I will be hanging out here for a little while if you good people don't mind. I have some whining to do. Thank you for the support during this difficult time.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 632
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,651
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2212
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 57 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8
Lady...
God and You only know what happened.
What was it...that wasn't real?
(you know me lady...tactless and to the point?) .........NAME IT!
and now you are an emotional wreck,
Depressed and Emotional Basket Case?
Have you thought about therapy?
Remember some of my posts? If I had known then...what I know now?
I would still be a Non-Smoker
Please re-think becoming the old-smoker you were.
Make yourself an appointment with your family doctor first and talk to him about this.
*******Life is real....Smoking is the Lie
:)auntdeb
You remember I quit for 10 years and if you've been keeping up with threads here and there...my reason for starting back was weight gain.
My life was falling apart from stress:
I was working two jobs, my husband was caught up in some kind of porno thing at his work which eventually explained his excessive use of credit cards(I discovered by accident)that put us into a 2nd mortgage on our house and eventually led to our divorce because of my need for intimate conversation (that my husband was sharing somewhere else)pushing me into the arms of a co-worker at my 2nd job (who turned out to be an abusive "player" who used women...go figure! I Lost the weight for this loser...I lost my home and marriage of 17 years,,,I lost custody of my children...Now...
If I had it to do over again....My doctor would have been called at the onset of my financial problems to get some marriage counseling and probably would have prescribed some med to keep me from going Bonkers and starting smoking again.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,175
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $394.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
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