rose, I'm glad you're feeling better. Hang on to your faith because sometimes that's all we have in this life. For those who feel that God is somehow to blame for their problems, and should take everything away and make things perfect for them. Unfortunately life's not like that, yes God can heal us, but how can we become better people if we don't have trials and tribulations. If we are born and we live a perfect life, never get ill, never lose loved ones, have all the material possessions we want and basically never suffer at all, how would we ever learn compassion, love, forgiveness, humility,kindness, gentleness, patience I could go on and on. these virtues come through our trials and sufferings is it fun to go through these things? No, of course not, but think of it this way we are God's children and he loves us and never wants to see us suffer, but sometimes we are so stubborn we have to have what we want. We work long hours at our jobs, we ignore our health and eat whatever we want, we take on tons of projects and don't get proper rest and then when we are so stressed out that we began to develop panic and anxiety and what do some of us do? Blame God. When all along all he wanted was for us to just spend time with him by praying , reading our bibles and worshipping him at home, at church at a bible study class etc. Just like any other parent would want to just spend time with their children. The more time you spend with him the more he will be able to guide you and help you with whatever troubles you are dealing with.
