redface, what hopeful has said is so true, by saying this will probably never go away you are throwing in the towel ,in a way, and allowing the panic and anxiety to take over more control. I know that CBT works, it's not easy but all of the tools I've been learning have really come in handy. This weekend I went camping with my family, the last time we went camping in the fall my anxiety and OCD were pretty bad, I have really improved this winter and had kind of considered myself pretty much cured. Well guess what? I'm no more cured then anyone else on here, I don't think there is a such thing as cured , but I controlled it rather then having it control me. On Thursday I was in the camper getting it ready for our trip, feeling great, just a little overwhelmed, because I had 6 people to pack for, housework to get done, and I had prepared and threw Easter parties for two of my kids that day. Well there I am minding my own business thinking about all I've got to get done so we can leave Friday morning and wham it hit me. I started to think about how the last time I was camping I was panicked and worrying ,and that's all it took I was going over the edge into the abyss. But I stopped myself ,it wasn't easy, my first reaction was to panic and run from it, tell my husband I can't go we should stay home. But instead I gave in to it and said well if it's back then it's back I survived it before I can survive it again. If it kills me then it kills me and if I go crazy then I guess my family will spend Easter in the loony bin with me. The more I had an I don't care attitude the better I felt. Now granted it took 2 days to feel like myself again and to stop having the what if thoughts, but I'm home now and feeling great again, so I know the things I have learned are working. Just never give up and keep searching until you find the "things" that work for you.
