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The truth about closet smoking.

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Have an *issue*............Husband caved


for 18 år siden 0 2838 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Golly, Marie...I'm sure it does hurt. I bet, however, that he is being harder on himself than you can imagine. I know I was. I would sneak and smoke, feeling so terrinbly guilty. I finally realized I could be miserable and continue to sneak, or I could be miserable and quit with him :blush: Oh, Hell...I might as well quit 'cuz it ain't no fun anymore anyhow! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 149 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,490 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1192 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21
for 18 år siden 0 2838 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You and your hubby and me and mine/only role reversal. My husband and I quit with patches on May 23. He has been very successful. I had a couple of slips/relapses along the way. I did not tell him at first. I snuck around and smoked like a teenager! LOL I did not tell him because at the beginning he only quit at my insistence, and then I was the one to fall! I was afraid he would go back to smoking also and that both our resolve would crumble. I got back on the wagon, got Chantix and have been successful thus far... Don't give up on him and don't nag him to quit. Silently lead and he just may follow..... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 149 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,469 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1192 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7
for 18 år siden 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
FFM, Sorry to hear about your quit buddy. I know you must feel a little betrayed but it seems as though he had good intentions for hiding his secret. Hopefully, he'll learn from this experience and jump back on the quitting wagon. Keep setting the example. As everyone has said here today, your quit is your own and you are doing beautifully! Danielle _____________________ The SSC Support Team
for 18 år siden 0 537 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey freedom, Your right on two counts, Tomorrow is another day... and it's your quit, not his. When I quit my wife never offered to quit with me. She wasn't ready. No biggie. She smokes right in front of me, (never in the house anymore)... no biggie as well. (She has cut down a lot... expecially when it's 25 below zero outside... lol) Your quit is whats important! Protect your great quit no matter what! Take care, Ron [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 330 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,562 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2227.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 51 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32
for 18 år siden 0 852 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Freedomforme! I understand exactly what you are feeling. I went through the exact same thing. My husband is still smoking to this day.............. But...... I had to force myself to get over it. Yes, he smokes. Yes, it made me want one, but only when he burned one. The after-smell, well, we all know how that stinks........... When I got frusterated, and saw him smoking away his frusterations, it made me more frusterated. Same goes with the anger..... Same for excitement!! It happened to be the same with every emotion, and every season......... Then I realized one day that I got through all of those emotions without a smoke. I did it!! I no longer NEEDED my smoke to accompany me!! I found something else. (Well, it's really food, but that's okay, at least I'm not smoking!!) So my point is, yes, it is difficult to seperate your quit with his. But you MUST. You are doing a fabulous job ~ don't let anyone take that from you. Keep your head held high, and know that you are accomplishing something that most people only dream about!! As for now, I still stay inside the house. I will join my hubby outside, but only for a minute. The moment he lights up, I walk away. I don't enjoy the smell anymore. In fact, it makes me cough really bad. I find it utterly discusting and in no way, no how do I ever want to go back....... FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4my2girls p.s.- In March, we have another hypnosis seminar (that is how I quit), and my hubby said he would like to give it a try again!! Every time I tell him how far I've come, he beats himself up for giving up on his quit. So I don't need to say anything else, just how proud I am of myself and my accomplishment ~ he does the rest to himself.... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 338 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10,140 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1105.26 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 27 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3
for 18 år siden 0 277 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Marie, I sympathize with your situation. My husband also smokes. Although unlike yours, mine made no attempt to quit. At least yours gave it a shot. Maybe it's not his time right now. We all know how important it is to be ready for this. We can't do it if our hearts and our minds are not in it. I know that about my husband and I pray that he will be ready soon. But for now, he is smoking in the garage or outside. There is absolutely no smoking in the house or our vehicle and he appreciates that. I have noticed that he is smoking less lately and I am thrilled about that. He says that he doesn't enjoy going for smokes as much without me. :) I have a very good feeling that my quit will inspire him to quit when he's ready (soon!). But until that time I will focus on me. Sometimes I think maybe it's better to quit one at a time anyway. This way my healing time is for me alone and I don't have to share it with him. If we both were going through this at the same time, I don't know who would hold things together? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 353 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $297.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46
for 18 år siden 0 277 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ha ha! A man and his castle! You're right Aunt Deb. Women have come such a long way. Thanks for reminding us of how good we've got it. :) No offense to any men out there! I don't mean it in a bad way. We appreciate your consideration and respect. My husband goes outside to smoke not only because he wants our house to remain smoke-free for himself as well as for me, but also because he loves me and respects me. Women are finally considered equals as it should be. Men can still be kings....just that now the women are the queens and it's both of our castle. ;) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 36 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 363 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $306 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
for 18 år siden 0 989 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sad? Yeah, I bet. Hard to lose your quit buddy. Disappointing that your partner has not been able to quit at the same time as you. Mad? I would try my hardest not to be. He may have lied to protect you. He may have lied to protect him. We all know all of the ways that addicts lie. It has little to do with character, and everything to do with addiction. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you, it has to do with his own inability, right now, to stop. Hopefully you are well past the stage of feeling envious of his "getting" to smoke. He needs your sympathy, not your envy. And certainly not your criticism. You know yourself how many times you tried to quit and failed. He will quit and succeed one day too. And he will be closely watching your whole process to give him faith. Do not let it polarize you. Rejoice in your freedom. Focus on that and everything else will eventually fall into place. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 662 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 16,552 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2317 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 93 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53
  • Quit Meter

    $799,732.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6326 Hours: 19

    Minutes: 42 Seconds: 28

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45699

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    1,142,475

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 18 år siden 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It takes effort on your part to look after your own quit without worrying about his. If he wants to quit, he will. Get over his relapse quickly and get on with mastering your own smokefree life. Penitent d993
  • Quit Meter

    $59,939.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 1242 Hours: 21

    Minutes: 32 Seconds: 38

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    5449

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    119,878

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 18 år siden 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My view is you take care or YOUR quit. You are allowed to be disappointed with him...but he is probably MORE disappointed with himself! But the fact remains...what HE does with HIS quit can't be tied into YOU and YOUR quit. Quitting smoking is a very personal choice. No one can 'successfully' MAKE you quit....therefore, no one's failure should cause YOU to fail. Oh yes, feelings come into play....but feelings ALWAYS come into play when we quit....we are a mass upheaval of feelings any way you cut it. Don't give him a life sentence for this error. Keep YOUR quit....that will end up being a positive influence on him.....and perhaps in a little time he will come back to quitting also. good luck Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1857 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 74,308 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $10584.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 244 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15
  • Quit Meter

    $159,946.50

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 5960 Hours: 19

    Minutes: 42 Seconds: 20

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45699

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    913,980

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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