(I tried to post this earlier but it didn't show up - hope it works this time!)
I really need some help. I felt I was doing well with my anxiety and hadn't experienced panic attacks for about 2 weeks (which was a big deal to me since I would get them several times a day) up until about a week ago. I have a feeling of unreality, and have trouble remembering things. It's like I can't focus on anything and I feel confused. Like, Am I really at home? Who are these people? What the heck am I doing?
I [B]know[/B] the answers to these questions but it's like I can't "connect" to them, it's so frustrating!
I am also having trouble connecting to my past. I feel like the person I used to be couldn't possibly have been me. I was never that outgoing or attractive or friendly. How can that possibly have been me when I feel so ****py all the time??
I'm having trouble focusing on things from my past as well. For example I moved to Illinois from Vermont 2 years ago (the main reason for my continued stress/anxiety/depression/ panic attacks) and I am having trouble connecting to that part of my life. It's weird because being in Vermont made me so happy. Thinking of being "home" helped to get me out of many anxious episodes and now I feel like I can't connect with ever being there even though I know I was!
I feel like nothing is real around me, including my kids and boyfriend and I also feel as if I myself am not really here. I feel like an alien or something! :eek:
I'm so afraid of forgetting all my memories or something. I'm driving myself crazy with trying to "hang on" to them and I wonder if I am just making it worse.
It seems to be when I let go a little and convince myself it is just anxiety it eases a little.
Ugh! I hate hate hate feeling like this. I told my doctor I was feeling like I couldn't think straight and was having trouble focusing and she just asked me what was wrong with my brain (Why did she think I was asking her if I knew the answer!?) and gave me Biaxin for a supposed sinus infection.
I am going to see a different doctor Monday but am afraid I will lose my mind before then and then it will be too late.
Has anyone felt like they couldn't connect to things, thoughts, memories, their past during high stress or depersonalization/derealization e