Hi Pamela34, thanks for responding. It does feel better to know that I am not alone. It also helps to hear God mentioned. It's always a good reminder to me to think "oh yeah" God is a big resource, and I can reach out to him anytime. So thank-you. See part of what has got me is that I have developed this thing from smoking, called C.O.P.D. it is a pulmionary condition. The Dr. said it's not too bad right now..but obviously I need to quit smoking. So, between the humungous struggle I am having right now with the panic, the feelings which are real about having a hard time breathing and the panic making it worse..my chest get's constricted and it really is hard to breathe. Then I want to smoke and releive the feelings of anxiety and I feel like this terrible person for being so stubborn and afraid to quit when I know it is hurting me. I recently gave up drugs and have been working a program for 4 months now, so I am trying to put most of my energy into staying off the drugs. Then when I am given certain medications that will help me, like for my breathing, or prozac, I am afraid to take it and keep thinking that it is going to cause me more panic, so I just keep procrasitinating until people (my support people) get exasperated with me about not taking these things to help myself and I get mad at myself and feel embarassed about it.....Argh...Do you understand, can you relate to some of this??? I know this is long, I hope you don't mind me sharing all this. .This is about as specific or honest as I have been yet..Anything you want to say back is fine...or anyone else who reads this...and can shed some light...Thanks so much...
Happy New Year.
Jenny
