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Dealing with stress


for 21 år siden 0 128 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the responses. I guess it's true that when you try to avoid stress completely you end up causing more stress because you can't avoid stress so when it happens you are more stressed out about the stress! (If that makes any sense!!) I don't watch ER anymore- too bad it used to be my favourite show. I'm sticking with Friends and other comedies now-I've got enough drama in my life as it is. I actually have my own apartment where I am paying rent still but since Oct. 8 when I had my scariest panic attack and subsequent breakdown, I have been living at my parents because I'm too scared to live alone. I tried to go back there once and I just sat in front of the window shaking the whole time. I lasted about 6 hours. That was before I went on meds though so maybe now it wouldn't be so bad. Problem is, I don't know if I could get myself to the grocery store to buy food and I don't have a computer or cable and if you're agoraphobic these things are very important! Anyways, that's why I stay with my parents. (at 26, that's pretty humiliating!) I know what you mean about handling real emergency situations - this summer we had these crazy forest fires and we got evacuated twice! I remained fairly calm throughout the whole thing. I couldn't believe it - some normal people were absolutely freaking out and here I was, calm and realistic about the whole thing! It was after the fires were pretty much gone that I started to freak out- not about the fires, specifically, but just about everything. It was a really stressful summer, to say the least! Sky, I am going to try that not my problem thing. I don't think it sounds selfish. I don't know why but I have always felt some responsibility towards making sure my mom is happy. When she is stressed or upset, I feel like I should try and make it better for her. I know her happiness is not my responsibility and I am going to try to remember that when she's stomping around. Ok, thanks guys. Sarah
for 21 år siden 0 239 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I find when I stress, it's about nothing. The over sensitive startle reflex is something I identify with. When faced with a truly stressful situation I cope normally, without anxiety. Try to challenge your stress by changing your attitude towards it. When I hear a loud bang, or the dog barks whatever it may be, my heart races and I get worked up. Over the last few weeks I've been telling myself "it's good practice". By doing this I've been reprogramming my attitude to the unexpected. Within usually 3 minutes time I've found a perfectly reasonable explanation to why what happened when it did. This calms me down too. My mother sounds like yours Sarah! Always sighing and stomping around grumbling about something. When still living at home I used to say to myself "not my problem". Whenever my mum was making a drama out of something! Saying that to yourself is great because it removes you from the situation, so you can see it clearly. I believe that you should always look after yourself first and foremost. If you look after number one you'll be much better company in all aspects of life. Now I apply that "not my problem" affirmation to anyone. Doesn't mean you can't help, quite the opposite. By adjusting this attitude you'll be able to contribute to situations and then forget about them. By forget I mean not stress or dwell on them after the event. In reality a startling moment only lasts 3 seconds, if that. It's the lingering feelings after the event that are hardest to deal with. By lowering your stress levels with situations at home by detaching yourself from the event will help tremendously. I still get really worked up over things, but I'm finding now the anxious periods I'm suffering are becoming shorter and shorter. I think it's got a lot to do with mumbling "not my problem" to myself all the time. Sounds really selfish I know, and it is, but it's also a productive and positive motto. :)
for 21 år siden 0 200 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Stress has become a problem for me, too. I have found that trying to avoid any stress makes it worse. There is no way to avoid all the stresses in life. Some stress is good, example - I have bills to pay (stress), so I go to work. You might have a test (stress), so you study for it. I might have an injured or sick animal on my farm (STRESS), so I find the best thing to do for it. We have to find a way to make stress work for us. I know that some stresses (like your parents) may not be able to turn into a good stress. Those are the ones we have to face and learn to get past. The more we face stress, the stronger we get, and stress doesn't effect us as much. The more we avoid it, the worse it gets, then every little thing becomes overwhelming. Lately, I find myself avoiding stress when I shouldn't. Sometimes I just want peace. But I think that the way to conquer stress is to master it. That's hard work, and sometimes I would rather avoid hard work! LOL!!! Yes, I believe that panic makes us ultrasensitive to things, I jump out of my skin on a regular basis. Now if watching ER makes you stress out, don't watch it. It's not helping you. But you have to try and find a way to work through the stress with your parents, you can't turn them off like a tv show! I also find that when I am under serious, real, stress (like a tree just fell on the barn), I can handle that. I'm scared, but I can function just fine. It's the little stresses that get all out of control. Good luck! Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!
for 21 år siden 0 30 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sarah, It's funny that you should mention your parents stressing you out. I don't live with mine, but sometimes it seems that just an hour or so with them can drive me over the edge - take today for example. My dad gets panic attacks like me and is overly sensitive to things,like me, and my mom will just roll her eyes and think we're both nuts. Anyway, she was irritable and I left their house feeling all depressed. It is impossible to avoid stress and I don't think anyone should try, because it probably just makes it worse. I'm overly sensitive to things too, mine's more light related - fluorescent lights drive me nuts. You might want to try exercise - go for a walk or do some yoga. Do you write in a diary? I'm 28 and I still do it - not everyday but just when I feel I need to. That might help to get out your frustrations about your parents so you don't end up yelling at them. (Just remember to keep it where they don't find it!) Oh, and stop watching ER!! That show stressed me out too!! I used to think I had everything on that show :8o: It also depressed the hell out of me. Take care, betty
for 21 år siden 0 8 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm 39 and don't live at home but my parents are the same way I think it stresses them out worrying about us they think if they try to keep us busy it will go away they are trying to help but don't understand just try to keep in mind that the reason they are stressed and trying to help is because they love you and care about you
for 21 år siden 0 128 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Can anyone give me any tips on how to cope with stress? You'd think that since I dropped out of college, don't drive anymore, and don't do much of anything anymore that I would have very little stress in my life. At least that was the idea when I made the decision to basically drop out of life for awhile, 7 weeks ago. What I'm finding though, is that I'm so sensitized to stress that any little thing stresses me out, which in turn stresses me out because I'm trying to avoid stress! Even watching shows like ER stresses me out! I have been staying with my parents and they are very stressful, stressed out type people. Their attitude is that if you're not busy, busy, busy, you are just wasting time. They don't believe in relaxing. My dad's a workaholic and an exercise junkie and my mom is always stomping around the house sighing and mumbling about how much she has to do. These things stress me out. Just the sound of her stomping around the house! I feel like I can't get any peace. By nature, I am quite mellow, laid back and easy going, until this thing really got ahold of me a while back. How do people deal with stress and how do you desensitize yourself to it? It's just impossible, I have found, to avoid it completely.Sometimes just hearing loud unexpected noised cause me to jump out of my skin. I have heard that your startle reflex becomes ultra sensitive when you have anxiety/panic. Does anyone else have this? Even in the car, if my mom has to stop suddenly I freak right out! If anyone has thoughts or suggestions, I would love to hear them. Thanks, and Happy Thanksgiving to all my Americans neighbors! Sarah

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