I have been battling this bout of panic for about 2 years. This time around I know what is happening to me, I know that my mind is playing tricks on me, even when I'm having a panic attack, I know that I'm ok , I know I'm not going to die, sometimes I feel like I am. I just can't stop them! Sometimes I even laugh because it seems so silly, that your mind can be so powerfully negative. I know for a fact that I produce the anxiety, my own mind does it to me. I just don't know how to get a hold of it before it happens. I get that snowball effect of fearful, irrational thoughts, that lead to me getting anxious, it's almost always over nothing!! During a panic attack, I couldn't even pinpiont what I am scared of? Weird? For the past 2 months..I see a CBT, a psycologist and an accupuncturist once a week. And a Psychiatrist monthly. I am lucky to still be able to work ( I am a hairdresser) I spend A LOT of money on these people, but I feel that it is important to have a support system right now, even if I have to pay them. Ha . They all say I'm doing SO much better. And are pointing me in the right direction. I feel their support is pushing me to do more. But, I'm going broke.. I live on my own and I barely get by paying all my bills. It's expensive, but I feel talking helps me more than anything, it lets me know that I'm not going crazy and gives me some skills to deal with these "annoyances". My psychiatrist has me on Xanax .25 3 x's a day. (That's what has always worked for me) I have tried a couple of SSRI's but I get SO nervous about the "starter" side effects, I can't make it longer than a week or so on them. So I really don't know if they could help me, cause I'm too scared to keep taking them, it doesn't help that I live alone either.. My psyc. pushes me everytime I'm there to take an anti-depressant, he says it will help speed up the healing process, and take some of the stress off me, but for some reason I believe that those meds are not going to help me, they all made me feel worse. I am not a depressed person, I'm an anxious person, and most of those meds bring on anxiety and panic attacks ( At least for me they did) He bothers me, cause he never praises me for getting all this help, or dealing with this on my own, he just keeps shoving anti-depressants