Hi, Linda. First you say you haven't been on the expressway for 2 years. Anyone in that position would be nervous, especially if inexperienced. What you did was brave. Please stop beating up on yourself. Here are some comments that I hope you'll find helpful.
Consider what would have happened had you asked a member of your family to give you a ride, period? Or what would have happened had you asked tham in advance for a ride because you dreaded driving on the freeway on such a busy holiday? It doesn't sound like a terrible request to me, perhaps because in my family such a thing is sometimes done, so it's not viewed as a big issue. The importance is placed on everyone's getting to the gathering, not on how they get there. Maybe you did ask? Or maybe you feared asking?
One particular co-worker who lived near me got her driver's license for the first time when she was 53. Understandably, her lack of confidence was tied to inexperience. All this to say that sometimes panic attacks don't have to be broadcast to those who would only judge you, and that it's not unusual for people to ask for rides when they feel the need.
An important point is that you tried to get there via the freeway. You were willing to challenge that fear. However, perhaps you just took too big a step on that day by not easing into it first? Remember to challenge your fear by taking gradual baby steps. If you follow the panic program and need help in planning some steps, just post about it.
As for goal setting and exposure planning, how about taking your driving to the next level and going a little further with it, until you can include some freeway practice? Gradually increase your distance from your comfort zone, and when you get to practice freeway driving, perhaps begin by choosing driving hours when there are relatively few cars on it?
Hope this helps.
