I have tried some SSRI's, I'm just not a depressed person, I have high anxiety, so I feel they make me more jittery... I have tried Zoloft (I cried and I couldn't get outta bed) Paxil (shakey and felt like I was high, couldn't eat) Lexapro (gave me awful panic attacks for days) Gabitril (felt dizzy to the point where I couldn't walk, I had to lay down till it wore off) My psychiatrist doesn't really bother to give me any meds. cause he knows I won't take them. I don't know how I feel about them anyway. I am trying to take the therapy aproach right now. The Xanax helps, but since I've been at such a low dose for so long, if I panic, sometimes I have to take a little more (.50) to feel it..

Hey are you on now? Anyway, I understand completely how you feel. You don't want to tell him cuz you think he'll be thinking head case and if you never do other things outside of your "safe" place then he'll start to wonder as well. Just try and take it slow, like would a movie be out of the question? Maybe with an extre .25mg? That sometimes helps me if I take just .25 of xanax (more than you normally take). As far as other meds go, if you start to take the ones that take a while to kick in after they do maybe you can then wean yourself off the xanax again. Have the other meds given you bad side effects like weight gain and that kinda thing? Also, what did you take? If you don't mind my asking? Zoloft, paxil, or buspar? Let me know if things get better. We can talk if you need to, I'll be here for awhile more tonight and back tomorrow around this same time. hang in there, Shea

I had my first panic attack about 10 years ago.. (I'm 30) I became agoraphobic for about 6-7 months after that, because I didn't understand what was happening. My doc at the time gave me Xanax and got me up to 1mg 4x's a day for 6-8 months. At the time I didn't think it was a high dose (it's not really if you research) but I started to notice that I would forget things from the day before. I decided to stop taking the Xanax by myself, I tapered off within 2-3 weeks and was fine! One day I just "snapped' out of it and returned to a "normal" life. I had NO panic attacks for 6 years!! Then about 2 years ago, BAM they were back, and I immediately saw a psychiatrist and knew what had worked for me before and I told him that Xanax was the only thing I felt comfortable taking. He agreed and wrote me a script, and has been writing them since. For some reason I can take a low dose for what I think is a long period of time (2 years now) and it still works for me, although it could be in my head. But I have been taking .25 3 x's a day for 2 years. Occasionally I'll take .50 when I have an attack, but that is rare. I tried several SSRI's. And I can't handle the "starter" panic attacks and other side-effects they bring on, so I will NOT take them. To me they are not worth the sick feelings to see if I'll feel better in a month or so. Right now I feel I am doing SO much to get better. It's almost overwhelming. I see a CBT, a psycologist and an accupuncturist once a week.. And read lots of self-help books. At this time I am experiencing a mild form of agoraphobia, I do get nervous going to stores, resturants..ect places where escape would be hard or any situation that would be uncomfortable to get out of. I can't go in cars with other people, I have to drive my own car. I work, live alone, and go out as much as I can push myself to, without feeling in extreme danger. Recently, I met someone who I really like and get along with great. We talked on the phone for hours a night for days, because I wouldn't go out with him. I just didn't want to start up something that I couldn't do "normally" (of course he didn't know that was why) It has been a while since I could even think about having someone in my life while I'm going through this, but he just happened. I get SO lonely,