The bar is, was and so far is proving that it always will be the hardest trigger for me to get through. I go to the bars once a week with friends, and they, of course, all smoke. It's almost torturous at times, the amount and intensity of the cravings that ensue. I won't smoke, of course, but watching all of them suck away on the cancer sticks, for some odd reason, is very appealing to me. I honestly don't understand why because I know how disgusting it is and I also know how happy I am to be free of the addiction, but when I'm at the bars, I can't help but get very envious of all of the smokers sitting around me. Perhaps it's the second hand smoke I'm getting that is reintroducing nicotine into my system that causes these cravings... I don't know. All I know is that it's still very hard to go to bars. I'm a firm believer in the more we do something without smoking, the weaker that trigger will be. I can get in my car anytime I want now without EVER thinking about smoking... and that was always my favorite time to smoke. In the beginning, I didn't think I would ever be able to drive without wanting to smoke... but now, I never want to. So, I believe that if I go to bars enough and not smoke, then eventually, I will not crave when I go out to the bar anymore. This is my hope anyway! And I honestly do believe that it can and will happen eventually. It's just that I've been going out every weekend for a while now, and no let up. I think one of my problems is that in the very beginning, I avoided the bar like crazy. Then, when I started to feel comfortable going out to bars, I got drunk and smoked and that blew all of my confidence with being able to go to bars without smoking. Since then, almost 300 days, I've gone out to the bars quite a few times without smoking, but I've always had terrible cravings. So now, I need some new coping skills because the old ones just aren't cutting it anymore! A couple nights ago, I faked a headache and told my boyfriend I didn't feel well and needed to leave. :gasp: I felt as though I was torturing myself by being there and couldn't stand the temptation anymore... it wasn't that I thought I would smoke... I just didn't want to want to anymore. I can usually put up with it for a while, but this particular

Misty, To answer your questions, first let me say, these are his friends. I'm sort of the newbie to the group. I'm certainly not going to instill demands on anyone just because I've quit. And the BF is always really good about it... he smokes outside. He doesn't even smoke in his own apartment! I don't even live there, but he still doesn't smoke there! I have let him, on I think one occasion, smoke in my car with the window rolled down and his arm hanging out the window, but I let my nephew do that too... I don't mind people smoking in my car as long as they keep the smoke away from me. I refuse to be one of thse preachy ex-smokers who is always talking about the benefits of quitting or telling people that they can't smoke around me or things like that. I quit... that doesn't mean that anybody else has to or even has to hear about it. It's my thing and I don't feel as though I have the right to force my will on anybody else by making them go to places where they can't smoke. I remember how much I hated hanging out with those types of people... to the point where I just flat out wouldn't do it. I won't do it to anyone else. That's just me. The BF has said that he wants to quit... I'm not pushing it. He gave me a timeline. If he doesn't stick to it, then I might say something. But for now, I'm letting things go. He's really supportive of my quit... that's all that matters. Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 297 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,440 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1226.61 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

I guess one of my issues with this, especially with using straws, or my famous licorice sticks, is that I'm afraid of the reaction I will get. Let me explain that a little bit... I'm not afraid to suck on a licorice stick if that's what will help me not smoke... I really don't care what people think. If anyone says something, I'm more than likely to pop back with some comment such as "if you think I look stupid with licorice hanging out of my mouth, just think how stupid you look with a cigarette hanging out of yours!" And, I'm not afraid to say that! What I'm afraid of is making the quit look hard to my bf. Now, I'm all for speaking the truth and telling people how it is, but I also know that I've had a more difficult quit than many... perhaps even most. It has been my observation that men tend to have easier quits than women, and given that I've had a more difficult quit than many women I've known both on this site and off, I would say that the bf will probably have an easier quit than me if he actually decides to quit. I could be wrong, but it's a good possibility. He doesn't really know much about my slips or the reset meter. He knows about my slips, but he also knows that I've been quit for over 14 months, minus 3 days. If I told him that I was having these horrible cravings after that much time, it might scare him off from quitting. He's on the fence about it, and I really think that something like this could really push him away from quitting if he knew how much I have struggled. That's why I simply faked a headache instead of telling him why I really wanted to leave. So, if I pull out a straw and start sucking on it, or a licorice stick or something else like that, he will NOT understand (and will probably make fun of me for it too!) So those are kinda out of the question. I suppose I could chew gum or hard candy... something less obvious, but those usually don't relieve cravings as much. So anyway, I guess that's why I don't use those "normal" coping mechanisms... I don't want to scare anyone off from quitting. Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 297 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,446 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1226.61 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14

Hey Pam, You know - all of those adicts are envious of you, right? You seem like you do have a firm grip on that concept, so that's not really the issue. I don't have smoking friends, and I don't go to smoking bars, and I don't go to people's houses to sit around and drink while they all smoke, so all i can really offer you is my support. I guess that I don't really understand why you are doing that to yourself? i meen - yeah, we larn to drive the car, sit on the toilet, talk on the phone, and do all of the things we used to do while smoking and not smoke. But, there aren't any people sitting aorund blowing smoke in my eyes whe I drive, sit on the toilet or talk on the phone. Do you allow people to come into your home and smoke or do you allow them to ride in your car and smoke? Why go to their places where they smoke? Like I said - i'm not in that possition, so I am honestly jsut asking, and not passing judgement, in case it sounds like I am. Would your boyfriend go to a non smoking bar with you? Wouldn't this be a good time to tell your friends that you need to take care of yourself? It kind of seems to me that they are being really selfish to even ask you to be in that possition, and that isn't really my definition of freindship. Though, that attiude right there could be why I don't have a ton of friends. LOL!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,957 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $455 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Oh, I don't meen telling people they can't smoke around you, really. I can surely see the dilema when you're the new one to the group too I just meen doing what you have to do to take care of Pam. Like I said, I am not in that situation, so I don't really have any answers for this. I have only one smoking freind, and i did ask her not to bring her igarettes to my house. She doesn't, and I think that was a really really wonderful thing for her to do. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,957 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $455 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

ButterflySwimmer, seems to me you should protect your quit at all cost. When you are at smoker's houses you can't stop them from smoking. But I think your car should be non-smoking your house also, these are your places and people should respect that. And I also think you should tell your Bf the truth about your quit, protect your quit and then you will be able to help him if he decides to quit. So if everything is out in the open it will be easier for you.So that's how I feel about it have a good night Marie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 69 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,049 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $276 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

[quote]I'm a firm believer in the more we do something without smoking, the weaker that trigger will be.[/quote] I totally understand where you are coming from. I would suggest finding something to do/reward yourself with besides a smoke will help; kinda like what Danielle suggested. I know it helps me in social situations as well. I'll take treats in my purse. (different flavors of gum, different sugar free candies) Since you are confident in your resolve to not smoke, just keep on keeping the faith that each non smoking experience will weaken your triggers. When the trigger turns into crave and you don't want to deal with it any longer ... leave ... just like you did. You are doing great BFS ... keep it up. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 101 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,050 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $404 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

Butterfly Swimmer, What have you replaced smoking in bars with? What do you get that you can be proud of having instead of that disgusting cigarette? An expensive bottle of wine? The fanciest drink on the menu? A yummy snack when you come home smoke free? A cab home? Are you rewarding yourself for staying smoke free after the bar? Only you can devise what will work best for you. Keep persevering, you will overcome this trigger! Danielle ________________________ The SSC Support Team

[color=white]Your title is misleading bfs, I thought this was about a different subject :eg: :p[/color] So good 2see U hangN tough! :) I'll echo the 'replacement' advice if I may. When I went to see the Black Eyed Peas (primo show btw ;)) I took staws, beef jerkey, corn nuts and gum. Even now when I get off work I pop one of my 'fav-o-right' mints the minute I get 'N' the car. It's just a new habit. Btw~you are lookN' good! :) [color=blue][font=Tahoma]All the best~[/color] [img]http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/6922/n3us.gif[/img][size=3][color=blue]2[/color][/size][img]http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/2344/k6ob.gif[/img][/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/20/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 366 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,069 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1830 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 34 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39