Hi Anne-Marie,
Yep, I know, and that's exactly what I told Seahorse. I KNOW I'm catastrophising, I KNOW it's 99.9% more likely to be indigestion than a heart attack. I KNOW all that. I DO self talk and relaxation exercises. It's not the understanding that's my problem, the problem is that even though I understand I'm still anxious and panicky. I've had this for 21 years now, and believe me, I've tried all the obvious. But it's just an automatic reaction, I get a tweak somewhere or I think 'what if I had a pain now?' and off I go. It's like there are two people in me, the reasonable one and the scared one, and the scared one normally shouts much louder.
As for doctors, I find they normally can't help me much. Don't know about the US but over here in Britain they are incredibly overworked. You get three minutes to present your case and then you're out again. When I first had this particular pain I went to an emergency doctor because it was new and painful and I was scared to death. First I had to debate with them on the phone if I was allowed to come at all. Then they had me wait for over an hour. I finally saw a very unfriendly doctor who pressed my stomach and listened to my chest, found nothing and just told me that very often with chest pains you never find out what's causing them. Bye bye, don't come again.
Michelle, thanks for the kind offer! Luckily the pain hasn't come back quite as severly and I've been ok since then. I agree, it's when the mind isn't occupied that the anxious thoughts sneak up on you, and it's so automatic I often don't realise it. I find sometimes when I'm really busy and elated and got lots of 'good' adrenalin sloshing about I can have quite severe pains and I just let them be, they register and are forgotten. But when my mind is not so busy, eg during a long journey, it just takes hold of me and won't let go. I've even chatted up strangers on a plane just to keep my mind busy. But you can't be in a constant frenzy, life just isn't like that, there are many more quiet moments than busy ones.
I'm just so sick and tired of it! I want to be 'normal'!
Marianne