HI, Elaine.
I'm not a therapist, but I am a mom. I think that children pick up smallest of body signals extremely well. No, I don't think it, I know it. My kids developed it into an art form, (as most kids do so they can press our buttons at times, LOL, and keep us on our toes and train us to be parents.) ;)
If I were the one having the attacks, I would be concerned that she might be learning the same reactions and behavior. I would not want her to grow up thinking this is the ideal way to react or deal with something, especially as I would not want her to grow up and experience panic attacks. I'm sure you don't want this for her either.
I would therefore pick a quiet calm moment to discuss the whole topic with my child and tell her how she could be of help to me, such as by taking both my hands and facing me, telling me she loves me and that I am going to be all right. Or, she could be instructed to coach me with my breathing by counting slowly, so that she feels she is contributing to helping me get through this.
I would not dismiss it or lie to her and tell her it's nothing though, because to you it is something and I'm sure she knows that.
I would not give her the responsibility of getting me through this, (such as assigning her the responsibility for emergency meds if I carried any), but I would let her feel she is contributing to helping me get through a bad moment. A Subtle difference, but one that I feel is quite important. And I would verify this, so she doesn't carry any burden of guilt or responsibility around with her. (I would want my daughter to feel she's helping me with my baggage, but I would make it very clear that it isn't her baggage too.) Maybe your doctor or therapist and other members can offer more suggestions.
And if she were to help me during these moments, I would hug her and tell her how much I appreciate her. Blessings to you and your little one.
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Anne-Marie, Site Administrator
