Hi Marianne,
First of all, congratulations on taking your trip! I hope that everything goes well! I really think that it will!
The good thing about this support center, is that although we can't go with you on vacation, you can think of us while you're there, and know what we would say! If you have a panic attack, you know what we would be telling you. Just think of that, and its like someone is there to talk you down.
I also think that its so true that when you have to be strong for someone else, it makes the panic attacks go away. I wonder if it just puts them off, or if it gets rid of them? Somedays being strong for others makes me feel good, but other days, its really hard!
As for your boyfriend, i really don't know you or him well enough to presume to offer any advice. All i can offer you is something i know about most people, and that is that they like to help others. Especially when they love someone, it makes people feel good to help others. I know its hard not to be proud, but sometimes you have to LET people help you. It'll only make both of you feel better! This may mean asking him to stay when you're scared. Perhaps its your fear of his reaction that intensifies your fear.(????) Maybe once you know how he'll react, you'll feel more comfortable. If he's super supportive and understanding, you'll have that knowledge with you all the time, and unknowingly, you may feel more relaxed around him. This is the case with all of the people in my "safety zone," the reason i don't panic around them is because i know i can! Maybe he feels uncomfortable because he doesn't know what to do! Let him help you!
Anyways, i have to run, but i'll be thinking of you while you're on vacation, have a blast!!
Beth
