I am so stressed. Had to wait the whole day for some not so great news. No, it's not about my health. It is really stupid it is about a washing machine. The saga of this poor machine has been going on for more than a month. There is just one thing after another and I am stressed. I would like to just say get another and it is too much. EWUGH!
And the stress is not about the machine, fixing the machine or how this happens. The stress is about time and money. My anger at such a silly thing and what a waste of time. What a waste of money. The freakin machine is 5 years old and needs to be rebuilt. No guts... So all of this is really about my frustation, irritation and lets call it for what it is, my anger.
My coping mechanism for dealing with all of this was to go and smoke. The smoking has been taken away and I am left writting into a computer, just ain't the same as a smoke. However this is a lot more healthy. So writting, posting and waiting it is.
I am hesitant to post this, there are so many bigger problems here at the SSC and this is very trivial. I am p^&(4ed because my cloths have been ruined and my time spent and money spent dealing with something so trivial as a washing machine.
I have not smoked. I have to give myself credit. I have not stomped to the corner store bought the pack of smokes and puffed away all of this. So it sits as a cloud with me and I get to feel it dissipate as I think of giving my mom a hug. If I just don't smoke she might not ask why I smell so bad. My mom, God bless her, is in advanced stages of dementia and sometimes she recognizes me and sometimes not. I know the last time I hugged her at Christmas she said I smelled bad. That was one of the final blows to my smoking career. Sad to say I had to hug her before I left again as a smoker. I know that I will be able to give her a hello hug as a person who does not smell like an ashtray, when I see her again.
So that is my vent. I apologize for taking space and I needed to clear the air and the fuzz in my head.
Concentration, focus and persistance. No smoking here in Riverdale this afternoon.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 172
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,454
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1290
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B]