Tamara, you wrote that you "haven't yet set any goals..." followed by a really big Except. Maybe you next time you can lead (and tell yourself FIRST) what you have accomplished. Wow! 4 weeks with no alcohol when you wrote that you have been drinking to the point of blackout before. That's a really amazing goal to have met. If you do nothing else each day... you have accomplished a great deal. Good job!
And, yes... it is to be expected that when you are depressed and especially when you are recently sober you are not going to be at your best. Fights happen. Irritability is real. Even my skin feels irritable when I'm in a bad place. I have found it helps to remind my significant other that I am hurting but really trying to manage better. I have also found that telling him once is not enough. I give him credit for learning to back off when I'm really bad. He is so much better after we talk about it. Not easy to do. At all. But it is so much better for both of us if I keep us mindful of what WE are dealing with.
A couple of questions for you:
How are you rewarding yourself for not drinking? What are you doing for yourself with the extra time and money you are saving by not drinking?
Do you have a relapse plan in place? You know, for the day when the pain gets so bad and nothing is going right and you are ready to say "F... it, I'm going to drink anyway!" It's good to have a plan written down somewhere you can see it. Very simple. Call someone. Write it out. Go for a walk. Take a nap. Drink some juice or vinegar water. That's what I do. Dumb stuff... but helpful. What might be helpful for you?
Well, that was more than a couple... sorry :/ ~m
