Hello everyone,
I am a 35 year old woman, been struggling with depression for the last 5 years, but not giving up and I am determined to get better :) I thought this forum and system would be useful as at the moment I do not have access to a therapist. I've been off medication for 2 years now, and coping by my own means, although sometimes is a struggle. I suffer from PMDD which means the depression is quite cyclic, I usually have two good weeks followed by two depressive weeks. On the good weeks I am able to exercise, eat healthy, my outlook on life ranges from neutral to positive, I feel hopeful about the future and I enjoy being social. On the bad weeks, I wish I wasn't here, I really don't see what's the whole point of living, although I doubt I would hurt myself, mainly for two reasons, one is that I can't do that to my parents, it would destroy them, and second, because I believe in reincarnation (I was raised as a Catholic but identify quite strongly with Buddhism) so to me that means that if I kill myself, I'll just come back and will have to do it all over again anyway. So I rather deal with this in the best way I can. I also have to deal with codependancy issues (grew up with an alcoholic parent), procrastination and OCD issues, my own addictive patterns, and a very annoying existential crisis (on the bad days I just question what's the point of EVERYTHING and I feel quite bored and upset for having to 'do' life, because I really didn't ask for it! - very childish, I know).
Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and share a little bit about me, hope here and together we can find tools for recovery and comfort and support.
Thanks for reading...
I.
