I posted here maybe about a month ago, and then I know I disappeared for a bit. But I had gone off my meds nov. 13th thinking I could do it without meds, but a few weeks later, I started to relapse. I hit a very dark place. I started the same meds again, Effexor XR (rapidly increased from 35 to 150), have been on the max dose for about 3 weeks now, and I notice that the dark negative thoughts & feelings etc.. are starting to lift. It is such a relief. I just wanted to give you an update, because a few people here were really helpful when I was down. The anxiety is still very much present, but I'll tackle that next. The most pressing for me was lifting the depression. And also to whoever suggested I read Mindful Way Through Depression, I am reading it and I find it very interesting, I just wanted to say thank you.