Hi, Thanks Tiana again for your reply,
I think you're right. About taking medication. I feel like it's beyond me. Beyond my control. I just can't seem to feel 'giddy', and I have been able to in the past. Why would it be that when I felt good, the subject of 'meaning of life' didn't bring me down, but now it does.. the only thing I can think of, is that there is something missing in my brain, therefore physiologically, not psychologically, that needs to be treated. I didn't, and still don't, want to believe that I might need to be on meds for the rest of my life, that is a hard thing to accept. I never had to before, so why now, that I'm 42!
Anyway I am seriously considering going back on, but trying at a lower dose at first, I have a prescription for 60x 37.5 mg. If I see an improvement I'll remain there, if not I'll increase to 75 mg for another 60 days. And so on.
No I haven't tried the programs yet, I've been having internet problems. I will check it out though. I'm a little scared, because to be frank, I'm scared that if it doesn't work, it spells another failed attempt for me to get better. Fear of failure is one of my caveats unfortunately :(.
I appreciate the positive vibe in this forum.
FF