Hello Everyone,
I'll be honest I don't know how to start this. My name is Jenn, and I've been diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety disorder. I found this website from all places work, and thought I would give it a try. Lately i've been feeling like i'm lost and just here to make everyone else life difficult. I think i've been depressed for a very long time, I have just learned to hide it well, it all came to ahead last October. That is when Istarted medication for it. I'm married...almost a year (june 20) and my husband is amazing. very supportive through this....and I love him very much...but he can't understand what is happening to me, heck I don't even understand sometimes.
I've tried using other resources, like counceling but those things are always limited, so here I am. Since October, I've discovered that alot of my problems stem from my job. I work in a call centre for a credit card company. I've been there for 3 1/2 years...but doing the call centre thing for 10 years now. I started getting panic attacks and alot of anxiety...and things escalated from there. I've been on a few different medications. Started with Venlafaxine...75mg, and that didn't work so I was switched to Pristiq....seemed to actually do the trick...but cost and some sexual side effects put a stop to that pill, then tried wellbutrin....i turned into an insomniac for weeks. And now i'm back on Venlafaxine...250mg. I'm also taking clornazapan.
Since October i've also been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. Trust me when I say the feeling of not being able to "win" or get ahead is an understatement. Currently i'm on and off work....yesterday I went back and came home and cried all night, so I didn't go in today. Today is a bad day. I have no energy, no ambition to do anything, i dont' want to talk on the phone, answer the door. I want to continue to sit in my bed all day and ignore the outside world.
So anyway...this long winded drown out blurb is some info about me. I need help....I want to understand why i'm feeling this way....and I want it to stop. hopefully someone or something here can help me.
thanks for reading.
Jenn