Strength, I guess you can see that I take time to come here daily - sometimes two times a day. When I come here and post I do a little homework or research or whatever I can do to help me get on track.
I am glad to hear that you have family/friend support. Many people do not understand depression and have many stereotypes and think we could just shake it off , so to speak. There is great information on here and there's an organization that is call National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). It has great information and also is an advocacy group for people with all types of mental illness, one of course is depression. One stigma that really bothers me, is people want to know how can one appear happy, laugh, and not be like those medication advertisements on TV. I don't quite understand that myself. but I'm grateful.
When I first came to The Depression Center, there were alot of discussions re: control. I didn't quite understand that in the context of my depression. However, I've come to realize that control is an issue as even though I have/had rational thoughts regarding what I should be doing, I can't/couldn't seem to make myself do them. I also used to be very resilient with anything that came along, and now i struggle with that. Of course resilience theory is so complex and so many facets, trying to learn about that was to no avail for me and what I learned was not very helpful. It's also difficult when we think about pre-morbid functioning. I wanted to and if you notice, still do to some degree, want to talk about my pre-morbid functioning. That's a negative thing to do in my opinion. Acceptance of my depression and it is a part who I am today was so very difficult to me. It caused alot of frustration, anxiety and made me want to fix it now. I liked the way I was and I wanted it back NOW. I, of course, know that I can get some things back, however, I've been told by my psychiatrist that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. But that doesn't mean I can't regain some level of normal functioning. I guess you know there are many different diagnosis of depression and I was dx with Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I'm not much into labels, but sometimes the type of depression we have been diagnosed with can predict in terms of recover and what we can expect to some degree. Of course, I'm into defying the odds (lol). That's part of the old me, I like having back!
A coupe of other things I failed to mention earlier is I use a twelve step program regarding my Emotions. I don't know if I can say it on here, though that is a hint. It is called Emotions Anonymous. It is part of my daily meditation, they publish a daily meditation book. I can't remember the other thing I failed to mention. lol, saved by my memory issues. ah oh, I remembered. At first it was not possible, but now I use gratitude to help me focus on the positive things in life. I'm grateful I got out of bed this a.m., I'm grateful I have this program, I'm grateful I have a loving, supportive son, etc.
I posted about an issuea few days ago is how time consuming and mental focus that is necessary for me in my recovery. At the end of the day, I'm mentally exhausted from the effort that is necessary to make myself do the things I need to do. Now that has lessened over time., that's the good news. I don't have any bad news regarding that. lol
We gain strength through helping each other. I'm glad that my post helped in some way. I hope this one does too. Your post, as well, strengthens me, knowing I'm not rowing with one p
