Hi, triathlete, and welcome. Very supportive group here, a good place to have landed. Like you, I haven't had a particular life event or stress that has triggered my depression. It just IS, and has been building probably nineteen-twenty years. I understand some of your frustration.
dythymia... from what I understand... i might be in a champ de patate ... but this is in the range of mood disorders with the bipolar spectrum. So, the fact that you cannot pin down one trigger is very normal!
And you are in very good company , if I do say so!
And from the looks of your post you will have a lot to share with us ... do not forget that what you tried in the past might be useful at a later date ... so welcome.
Welcome to our wonderful support community. You have come to a great place
Please take the time to read through the program and to explore the tools and resources that are available to you through this site. We are here to help, support and encourage you in what ever you need. You will definitely find that there are many members who have or who are going through the exact same thing as you.
Stay close, and keep us posted on how you are doing.
I just read your post and am encouraged by what I read. You seem very aware of your need for support and that is the biggest step you can make with MDD. I can't always say I know what is causing my depression either. Depressed is sort of baseline for me. This makes sense because it is a chemical imbalance and not outside things causing it. However, there are contributing factors to the depression and these I can identify. These increase the effects of my depression.
You are on the right track and doing the things you need to do. Do you take any medication? Everyone here can tell you I didn't want to use anything. Then I almost crashed and burned. Now I take medication and am doing much better even though my outside factors have not changed.
Hang in there triathlete there are plenty of good caring people here to encourage you.
I am a 30 something professional who has been dealing with Dysthymia/MDD for the past 15 years. I am currently in my longest MDD episode, and have been off work for 5 months. Unlike many of you, I cant pinpoint specific reasons or events that have caused my depression. Im just really sad/suicidal/dysfunctional for no apparent reason, which is perhaps more frsutrating than if I could nail down a specific cause. I was involved in a group CBT program, but recently dropped out in week 5 of 8. I am encouraged by what I see online on this site, and hope to make good use of it. I have to also remember not to allow myself to fall back in to old patterns of isolating myself from the outside world, and have found a local support group I can attend, as well as being in contact with my close freinds/family. I look forward to communicating with you, and learning from your experiences. I have been reading some of the posts, and although I ache for your pain, I am encouraged that I am not alone, and have found people that can really relate to how I am feeling.