Gabs,
That's too huge a mess to be dealing with on your own. I don't mean to be too radical here but i'd say that you need to be alone for a short while. Even a week without the daily pressures and demands of family. I'm no counsellor but I have survived thus far in 60 years that i know that with all your burdens right now I would ask a psychiatrist at the hospital to let you be admitted to an Admitting ward so that you can get some sleep and quiet and nurses and psychiatrists to talk to about all this looming threats about divorce and loss of house and no lunch for your mate and trying to adjust to Effexor and all the rest.
I don't suggest this without experience. In 1998 I put myself in a psychiatric hospital and i stayed there for a week before I felt ready to fight some more and deal with my numerous problems. I needed that removal from the fray. I had nurses to talk to and several days of visits with a psychiatrist and sleep. Aaaah, the fatigue slipped away from me as I got fed and watered and listened-to. It was great.
Yes, my family pretended it never happened and i didn't talk about it. Who cares? I got the break I needed and I got strength from that stay in hospital and. no, I never thought I was "really out of my mind"! You're NOT crazy but I know you're exhausted and at the end of your tether. Don't be afraid, Gabs, do what will help you to deal with this crap right now.
Patrick