So I suppose I'm battling with depression, but to tell you the truth, I feel really angry all the time. I also feel perpetually exhausted. I don't get it sometimes, I wonder if I'm the laziest person in Canada, because most of the time all I want to do is crawl into my bed and sleep. And I do, at the end of the day I usually nap. And I stay up late because, I've always lived that way, it's always been that way. My parents would tell me to go to bed as a kid, but I'd see the lights were still on all over the house, and I could hear them doing the dishes, and it was so unsettling. And I have to say, I'm ridiculously angry at my parents. I know should be responsible for my own well-being, but I admit, I blame them, I blame them for absolutely everything. Probably because my mom was a miserable **** herself, and I can see that everything she did to piss me off I'm doing too, and I can't help it, and I can't stand it. It makes me hate myself and then I get more angry. And I tell you, it's not the kind of anger where you just take a piss and then the steam blows off. I walk with this anger inside me everyday. Everything I do, I feel so incredibly angry, at everyone, at everything. I think I deal with *******s a lot, or just people who generally piss me off. And I'm not a disagreeable person, even though I'm an angry person. You know what makes me angrier than anything else? When people don't listen to me. I'd be fine if they didn't, but when I tell someone to **** off, or leave me alone, or quit being a ****, and they still keep. ****ing. coming at me. from all sides. That's when I get really ****ing pissed I think I'll go homicidal. And I have a really hard time being social (probably because I attract the company of *******s, anyway), even with my friends, it's incredibly hard to express how I feel, because when I do they label me as being mean. But when I don't express anything at all, they assume I can deal with anything, or that I'm not even human. When I'm secretly hating them. But when I do have a good time with my friends, I completely forget I was ever angry, or even capable of being angry, but then... Then even when I'm happy, anything, at any moment can kill it, can set me off, can completely, bewilderingly, piss me off. again.
And if you asked most of