Oh Katy -- I feel for you. My ex was/is emotionally and mentally abusive also. Was for me, and I am still trying to minimize the damage he does to our daughters. He has never acknowledged that he has any issues, and is either irate or suicidal if I suggest that he... I don't even know what words to choose, and I know that you know what I mean. You're here, Katy, so you are strong enough to not completely lose yourself to your situation. Do you spend a lot of your time and energy searching for the words and tone that will communicate what you want to say without triggering his anger? Not that it makes any difference, though, because what is acceptable one day is not the next. You end up questioning your words, your thinking, your values, your worth. And when you have children... What do you want to happen, Katy? You know, don't you, that he's not going to change unless he wants to? Nobody will -- and that abject apology and remorse after he's really hurt you doesn't count as an indicator that he wants to change! Who matter the most are you and your son. Your partner may love you to the full extent of his ability to love, but it still has to be right for you and your son. Janice

Katy, Thanks for sharing, feels like we know you better already! Keep working through the program. Session 11 focuses specifically on your relationships with other people and your communication style. If you can't spend a lot of time on the computer, all of our worksheets and sessions are printable. Keep us posted. Danielle _____________________ The DC Support Team

Hello Confused. Thank you for replying. Well where do I start? I have been with my partner for 10yrs. When we first met he was violent. Not horrifically so but I had some rough times over the first few years. I think the biggest one would be when he stabbed me in the knee. To me that wasnt the worst time but I guess to the outsider thats bad. To this day he is adamant that he didnt mean to stab me and it was me bringing my knee up to defend myself which caused the wound, I dont see it like that though. Since the violence stopped the abuse is more mental and emotional. If im honest I preferred the violence. I knew what to expect with that. Im scared of speaking to people almost and if I see anyone I know when I am with him either male or female Im on edge. He thinks that I shouldnt confide in people because he doesnt want people knowing the ins and outs of our relationship. If he knew I was posting on here he would kill me. He thinks that its wrong that I work in a male environment. I am naturally more comfortable in a male environment than a female but I would NEVER dream of telling him that. It would mean to him that I was sleeping with everyone. Over the years my friends have dwindled away and I have a couple now that I see on and off. Luckily they have busy lives so the periods when I dont feel Im allowed to have a friend it just goes by unnoticed. He isnt very understanding and prefers my focus to be on him andhis needs. He has a very active social life and is very involved with his family but he doesnt like me seeing anyone. One of my friends worked opposite ****s to me before i got promoted and we had 2 days in every 8 where we were off together. We would meet up and go for long walks with our dogs or go for coffee and have a natter and catch up with the gossip from work. I did this once a week and for about 3 hrs tops. He was always on my back that I spent every waking moment with her and said that it wasnt natural for us to spend so much time together. I had to keep my phone on silent because if she texted me he hit the roof saying that I was ignoring my son. Even though my son was playing out and he was glued to the XBOX 360 and he hadnt spoke to me for an hour and a half! I really could go on and on and on and on. What I have

Katy, Welcome to the Depression Center and thanks for sharing your story with us. Please begin working through our online CBT program. It is located in your session diary. Take your time and don't hesistate to ask questions. Your test is also printer friendly. You can take it to your doctor and he/she will be able to help you directly or point you to ressources available in your community. Every little bit helps. Keep us posted. Danielle ______________________ The DC Support Team

Hi Katy -- It's good that you have some wonderful positives in your life, but it sounds as though the negatives are weighing pretty heavily. You've found a good place though -- I'm new here too, and I'm finding it helpful so hopefully you will also. What's up with your home/personal life?

Helo everyone. I guess I best tell you all a bit about me. Im 28. I am from the UK. I have an 8yo son whom I adore. I have a good job which I love. I guess I use my work to hide really. I am not the same person there as I am at home. I 100% forget about anything other than work between the hours of 0830-1700 but feel deflated when I leave. I dont like to face what my life is anymore. I am starting to realise how bad my life has become. More than anything after reading the results of the questionnaire at the start of the program! Time will tell what fate has in store for me.