I'm so pleased to have found this site -- I've been trying to work through the Feeling Good Handbook, but have been finding it tough to stick to by myself. My depression has been going on for some time, but I'll try to keep my intro as brief as I can:
First went to a doctor about my low mood in 1999. I was, at that point, married and my daughters were 3 and 5. We had just moved from England to Australia for an exciting career opportunity for my husband -- our life was very good, but he still wasn't happy. My husband is a bitter, unhappy man, and was emotionally abusive towards me because of it. We'd been married for 8 years and had moved from England to Canada, back to England and then to Australia in search of a job/life in which he could be happy. I'm Canadian, and all my family is here in Toronto, so the move to Australia was a huge one for me. I guess that I had really been hanging on to the idea that everything would be ok if we could just find the right space for him, but when Australia still wasn't it I gave up hoping. I pulled myself together enough to leave him a couple of years later and moved home to Toronto with my daughters.
Took a senior job with a small consulting firm, where I was promised a very short path to a leadership role. The partners announced 2 months later that they had sold the firm to a larger consulting firm. I'd been through a buy-out situation before, so wasn't really surprised when everyone went into preservation mode though, having just joined the firm, I felt more than a little isolated. I decided to weather it out partly, I guess, because I thought there was real potential in the merged firm, and partly because my salary was good, I'd just bought a house, and I wanted stability for my children. The dog-eat-dog behaviour continued, though, and sales and performance targets were being raised beyond anything remotely reasonable. I tried, I really did, but I was continually late to pick my girls up from after-school care, I was too tired to help them much with their homework, and my patchy attention was beginning to show in their behaviour and their marks. I wasn't sleeping, and tears were barely under the surface most of the time (even at work!). I talked to the partner I reported in to, but he didn't want to know anything