Love,
I have been there, it is the lonliest feeling in the world, and sometimes, yeas, the professionals don't get it. It sounds silly at first but like my therapist keeps telling me...breathe. When I remember (LoL) it works...
For me, I have Major Depression, Chronic, Severe, recurrant episodes and PTSD. Over the past year working with a therepist and psychiatrist we have concluded not so much bipolar although depression for me is cyclical. I also have panic attacks sometimes, which is scary. One month ago today I got out of the hospital, I was depressed and freaked out, 1 hook & ladder fire truck and 3 local PD cars later I was cuffed and hauled away. I certainly don't sound that way now...
Hormones? For women I think it plays it role in all this, but I don't believe it acts alone, I take an anti depressant (effexor) and another med (Lamictal) and I know things aren't right unless I am also on my pill (a progesterone based mini pill) too. Recently I had an episode where I developed numerous polyps/tumors and was on something to bring all hormones to a halt, so I could have surgery, I became a mess, now I hope things can get back to "normal" Do you have a good gynecologist or family doctor? Someone who knows your all over medical history? That's the best place to start, with a complete picture of your overall health.
Love, remember these are thoughts, I think them sometimes, too, I think alot of people around us everyday do too, but that is all they are, I read alot, and I like this one Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, he talks about thoughts, and if we just let them happen in our mind, acknowledge them, and let them pass through, ultimately the are just as much a thought as the ones we have about weather, lunch, the jerk driving on the freeway. It becomes something else when we linger on it and then we let it overwhelm us. Again, like the breathing thing...I try...sometimes I forget, but it at least worth the try.
One thing I have learned about this disease is that like most diseases, sometimes you have a flare up, but actually most of the time, its ok but just there.
I am in week 3 of the program here, it is interesting, and I think having to tend so much to thinking about thoughts and actions and less about feelings, I can wra