Butterfly,
Boy do I relate to your comments. When I had my first really bad depressive episode that eventually led me to being diagnosed with depression, I was where you are. My doctor and my husband encouraged me to just plan to do one thing a day. Even if all it was, was to get up out of bed. It was at least more than I had been doing. Stay strong, stay in good communication with your doctor, and be gentle with yourself. We have probably all been where you are, and know how frustrating it is when part of you wants to do so much more, but you just can't. Don't beat yourself up, it will come. If you go on medication please be sure to tell your doctor everything you are feeling mentally and physically so he/she can adjust or change your medication to help you the most. Keep in touch.
Kelly