Hi,
I am TK, and I have had depression just about my whole life, on and off. Well,ever since I moved to a new country four years ago,just after university, I have had a nonstop bout of bad luck. I began taking Paxil a year ago, which helped a lot. Suddenly, about three weeks ago, I lost my job, and I was so fed up that I stopped taking my medications. Well, I became severely depressed again. Today I saw my doctor,who instrructed me to start taking the Paxil again.
I am just so completely frustrated and hopeless.I graduated from university with very high grades (Magna Cum Laude), and was told by my teaching practicum supervisor that I was a natural in my chosen profession.Well, my great grades and recommendations did not help me find a good teaching job, and when I did find something, I was always treated badly (was told at the very end of the summer semester, for instance, that even though I was a great teacher, they would not be able to retain my services due to dropping student enrolment).My last job was the only one where I was pretty much told that I could not do
it. So noe, even though I know that I have helped a lot of kids make a lot of progress in such a short period of time, I feel completely hopeless and worthless, like things will go wrong no matter what I do. Even my great university grades are really meaningless to me now. You see, I am 33 years ols, still live with my parents, and my life appears to be one vicious circle. I had friends before I came here, but in my new country I just don't have friends because all the people I hooked up with really couldn't give me the time of their day when they became too busy with school or work,especially when we stopped working together (due to my bouts of bad luck with my career).One of these relationship was particularly heart breaking for me. I became very close friends with aomeone who was the daughter of my parents' friends.For eight months she was so nice to me and wanted to spend a lot of time with me. I thought it was a little suspicious that she did not really seem to hang out with anyone else but me, and when she confessed to me that she does not really feel like hanging out or returning phone calls of people she has known for some time. Even her mom recognizes the fact that she becomes bo