thank you all for your concern.
still here, still confused, so many things wrong with me, how do i even begin to fix me.
maybe i'm not alone here in this place but where i live in the real world everyone is happier when i just stay quiet, don't say how i really feel, don't say how it hurts, how hard every day can be, so i am alone because no one wants to know me, just be what they need me to be and everyone is fine except me which does not seem to matter. should win an academy award for acting.
sometimes just don't want to do it any more. sorry.
thanks again