Barbara/Kitn,
Barbara, I truely thank you for the candles and thinking of us. And of course, I would most definitely pray for you as well as Kitn. And I'm thinking Kitn would pray for both of us as well. I agree with Kitn about your husband not wanting to see the woman he loves in pain. And this is just my thought, but maybe another thing is that God is calling out to you. There was one message I heard where the pastor was talking about how we tend to rely too much on other "people" for emotional support than God. I remember you saying that if your husband found out about your problems, it might lead to troubles in your marriage. God knowing all this, maybe He was trying to get you to face that fear and bring you closer to Him. You asking us to pray for you kind of shows me that you are in fact getting closer to God. And I'm very happy about that. It's good to have people you can rely on and that's why God wants us to have fellowship. But eventually, people might let you down at one point or another no matter how hard we try not to. Rely on God, trust Him and believe He will give you the courage, strength, and wisedom to help you through your hardships. Sorry if I babbled alot. It's just that God's helped me through alot. I'm hoping that you'd find that "sparkle of hope" in God as I did.
And Kitn, of course you are always in my prayers as well. How is your husband doing? Although you're going through alot, seems like God is helping you through it all. I'm very happy to see that you have so much belief and trust in God through all this. I truely believe God brought us to this site for a reason. And I'm truely thankfull to God for you and Barbara.