Dear Barbara, I've read several of your posts and I have been in the same place you are now. I am having some trouble with depression right now and I suppose it will pass,for a while anyway, as it always has but I still feel bad. In one post you mentioned counting as a way of pushing thouhgts aside. I have this problem
of counting everyday but it is from another condition. It took me many years,with help, to figure out just what was wrong with me. I not only have depression but I have been diagnosed bi-polar disorder, post-traumatic disorder, Obessive copulsive
disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, Tourrette syndrome and I'm left handed. Since I've learned all of this I don't beat myself up about being bad. I know I am a good person and I bet you are too. I have learned to separate my "good"self from my "bad"
disorders or diseases are what ever term we use we can detach ourslves and know that in spite of all these negative emotions "WE ARE GOOD".
Sandee
P.S. No offense to left-handers, but I do quite a few thing upsidedown and backwards. Took a while to accept being left handed was not "wrong handed".