I am 17 years old and have had alot of responsibilities since i was only 15. At the age of 12 is when my depression started. I have not been officially "diagnosed" with depression. When I was 12 my mother's boyfriend died and no less then 2 years after that my mother's mother died. I then found out that my grandmother had emphysema and I would have to help take care of her. I dont understand why this made me become depressed because I wanted to help. she passed away this august and I was traumatized I have had anxiety attacks since then and cannot seem to control them. I have been going to therapy through my school for a few months now, but my "therapist" (she is a social worker) is leaving for maternity leave next week. This scares me because i have had suicide attempts before when i didnt have anyone to talk to. I am not feeling "suicidal" now but I am afraid that I will have these feelings again. Myself and my therapist have been trying to get in contact with therapists in my area but they have not called me back yet, this panics me. I dont like talking to certain people and I want to find a good therapist in my area, i have tried talking to my doctor about my thoughts to see if he could help find a good therapist, but he has not helped me any. I am on Lexapro 10mg, and it has helped me become less angry, but makes me cry all the time. I cry for no apparent reason and I cant figure out what is wrong....
Me and my mother have a great relationship I can talk to her about almost anything expect the things that upset me. I dont know what to do. I have alot more issues that I know have helped made me become depressed. I have taken many depression quizzes/tests online that say i have Chronic depression and Clinical Depression what is the difference
Can anyone help a little girl lost in this big world?
