Hello Carry,Barbara It has been awhile I know;I never started the diary I had mentioned I was gona start here I don't know why I tried a journal but dumped that too. My husband is doing better now,but he isn't well I know that and I just backed up into my own shell again,so to speak. You know its amazing how we can say aw with life and yet correct every misspelled word punctuation or whatever. I haven't done much of anything I have made this my escape from reality I know it, and try to change it--will for a day and ehh here I am again. I have so many thoughts and mixed feelings going around i jump from one thing to another even in conversation. I have a wonderful husband who loves me to death.I love him too yet I feel such a void somewhere,I talk to god I know what I know, and yet I just don't know. I am not happy with myself I don't like things I do or say at times. I feel so angry live in the past talk about things that happened years ago and i no should be dead and buried.but its a conversation for what?? maybe for ppl to understand me to help me understand myself,I don't know anymore I am ok as far as thinking of things to do but doing them is another subject I was gona start sketching bought all i needed and haven't even opened yet, got 2 weeks ago. I feel like i'm stuck somewhere I can't even explain I just feel here.Well thats about it I been puttin off writing you'se, but now I am Was so gun hoo in this support group and I just stopped just like everything else. yes i do believe in God I have faith in god I trust him I can't figure out me and I have all a woman would want in a husband and a family. something isn't right i am happy and then i'm not I am lonely, I just don't know girls I am down and tired.I will close here probably ain;t made much sense anyway love yas kitn
